themselves that their affections
flow in their most natural channels, without proving their own
feelings by the stern test of _reality_. Fully aware of her
partiality to me; aware, too, how unattractive a child my
cousin Julia was, and how unsuited to my aunt's nature and
taste must be the cold, sluggish, selfish disposition which
her daughter evinced, and which she seemed painfully alive to,
I never for an instant doubted that her affection for me
exceeded in kind, as well as in degree, that which she felt
for her own child. Often would she lament to me that Julia
gave no promise of future excellence of mind or character;
that in her she never expected to find the sympathy, the
responsive tenderness, that characterised our intimacy, and
which shed such a charm over every detail of life. The
selfishness inherent in the human heart, superadded to the
exclusive nature of a passionate attachment, made me listen to
these forebodings with a secret satisfaction, laying,
meanwhile, the flattering unction to my soul, that nothing but
the purest spirit of devoted tenderness led me to rejoice that
I could fill a place in my aunt's affections, which would
prevent her suffering from the disappointment which my
cousin's repulsive and apathetic disposition would otherwise
have caused to a heart as warm, and a spirit as ardent, as
hers.

A few years (the happiest of my life) carried me rapidly to
the verge of womanhood. I attained my fifteenth year, and
began to form acquaintances, and to mix in the society which
occasionally met at Elmsley. It chiefly consisted of relations
of my uncle and of Mrs. Middleton, who came at certain
intervals, and spent a few weeks at the old Priory, which then
became the scene of more active amusements than were customary
in our usually retired mode of life. Edward Middleton, a
nephew of my uncle, and Henry Lovell, a younger brother of my
aunt, who were college friends and constant associates, were
among our most frequent visitors. The latter, who had lost his
mother several years before the time I am speaking of, and
whose father held a situation in one of the government
offices, which obliged him to remain in London almost all the
year round, had been in the habit of spending first his
holidays from Eton, and subsequently the Oxford vacations,
with his sister at Elmsley. There he formed an acquaintance
with Edward Middleton, which soon grew into a close intimacy;
and both at college and at Elmsl