placing
the sum I had taken. Mr. Middleton will not refuse (I added)
to save my name from public disgrace; for Mary's sake--

"When I wrote that last sentence--when I came to my sister's
name, I threw down the pen, and gave myself up for a few
minutes to a burst of grief, in which I forgot everything but
the misery I was going to bring upon her. As I was searching a
drawer for some sealing-wax, my hand touched a book which had
lain there for many a day unopened. It was a small New
Testament, which she had given me before I went to Oxford. I
must hurry on with my story, Ellen, or I would tell you how
this accidental circumstance gave a new turn to my thoughts;
how I suddenly remembered that when I was a child I had
believed what that book taught, and that since, I had never
once thought whether I did believe it or not. I knew I was
going to die; and there was a certain phrase in that book
which seemed very plain to me at that moment, 'It is appointed
to all men once to die, and after that the judgment.' I don't
know how it happened that I recollected it so well, for it was
years since I had read it; but somehow I did; and again I
thought that my brain would give way, for kill myself I must;
and if _that_ was true, it would not do to think any more; and
so I got up and walked to the table. Now, Ellen, listen to me
quietly; don't agitate yourself in this manner; for God's sake
be calm. If Alice should wake, what would she think?"

I struggled with myself, conquered my agitation, and made a
sign to him to go on.

"Just as I was loading the pistol," he said, "some one knocked
at the door; I instinctively seized on the case; and putting
it into the bureau locked it up, and went to the door. I had
expected to see the housemaid or my own servant, and almost
staggered back when, on opening it, I saw Mrs. Tracy, Alice's
grandmother. Her coming took me so entirely by surprise that I
did not attempt at first to send her away, or to conceal from
her that I was in a state of mental agitation. I sat down on
the nearest chair, and stared at her in silence. She locked
the door; and, sitting down opposite to me, said in a calm and
perfectly resolute tone of voice:

"'Mr. Henry, you have done something dreadful to-night, and
now you intend to do something worse; but you shall not.'

"I tried to rouse myself. I stammered out that she was out of
her mind--beside herself; that I was busy, worried; that I
begged she would go; that I