ee I was only
a boy, and I suppose it was the spirit of youth hungering for the huge,
active world and the companionship of ambitious men. There is no one
so lonely as the young dreamer on the brink of life. I was lying by
the fire. It was not a cold night, and I fell asleep at last without
covering. I did not wake till morning, and then it was to find the
governor's nephew building up the fire again. 'Those who are born
great,' said he, 'are bound to rise.' But perhaps he saw that I had
had a bad night, and felt that he had gone far enough, for he presently
said, in a tone more to my liking, 'Take my advice, Mr. Fawdor; make it
right with my uncle. It isn't such fast rising in the Company that you
can afford to quarrel with its governor. I'd go on the other tack: don't
be too honest.' I thanked him, and no more was said; but I liked him
better, for I saw that he was one of those who take pleasure in dropping
nettles more to see the weakness of human nature than from malice.

"But my good fortune had got a twist, and it was not to be straightened
that day; and because it was not straightened then it was not to be at
all; for at five o'clock we came to the Post at Lachine, and here the
governor and the others were to stop. During all the day I had waited
for my chance to say a word of apology to his excellency, but it was
no use; nothing seemed to help me, for he was busy with his papers and
notes, and I also had to finish up my reports. The hours went by, and
I saw my chances drift past. I knew that the governor held the thing
against me, and not the less because he saw me more than once that day
in speech with his niece. For she appeared anxious to cheer me, and
indeed I think we might have become excellent friends had our ways run
together. She could have bestowed her friendship on me without shame to
herself, for I had come of an old family in Scotland, the Sheplaws of
Canfire, which she knew, as did the governor also, was a more ancient
family than their own. Yet her kindness that day worked me no good, and
I went far to make it worse, since, under the spell of her gentleness,
I looked at her far from distantly, and at the last, as she was getting
from the boat, returned the pressure of her hand with much interest. I
suppose something of the pride of that moment leaped up in my eye, for
I saw the governor's face harden more and more, and the brother shrugged
an ironical shoulder. I was too young to see or know that t