"
Here is a curious evidence of philanthropy: "A wealthy gentleman will
adopt a little boy with a small family."
A parochial report states that "the town farm-house and almshouse have
been carried on the past year to our reasonable satisfaction, especially
the almshouse, at which there have been an unusual amount of sickness
and three deaths."
A Kansas paper thus ends a marriage notice: "The couple left for the
East on the night train where they will reside."
In the account of a shipwreck we find the following: "The captain swam
ashore. So did the chambermaid; she was insured for a large sum and
loaded with pig-iron."
A notice at the entrance to a bridge asserts that "any person driving
over this bridge in a faster pace than a walk shall, if a white person
be fined five dollars, and if a negro receive twenty-five lashes, half
the penalty to be bestowed on the informer."
The following notice appeared on the west end of a country
meeting-house: "Anybody sticking bills against this church will be
prosecuted according to law or any other nuisance."
A gushing but ungrammatical editor says: "We have received a basket of
fine grapes from our friend ----, for which he will please accept our
compliments, some of which are nearly one inch in diameter."
On the panel under the letter-receiver of the General Post-Office,
Dublin, these words are printed: "Post here letters too late for the
next mail."
An Ohio farmer is said to have the following warning posted
conspicuously on his premises: "If any man's or woman's cows or oxen
gits in this here oats his or her tail will be cut off, as the case may
be."
A lady desired to communicate by electricity to her husband in the city
the size of an illuminated text which she had promised for the
Sunday-school room. When the order reached him it read, "Unto us a child
is born, nine feet long by two feet wide."
A farmer who wished to enter some of his live-stock at an agricultural
exhibition, in the innocence of his heart, but with more truth in his
words than he dreamed of, wrote to the committee, saying, "Enter me for
one jackass."
An Irishman complained to his physician that "he stuffed him so much
with drugs that he was ill a long time after he got well."
A correspondent of a New York paper described Mr. C.'s journey to
Washington to attend "the dying bedside of his mother."
A dealer in engravings announced: "'Scotland Forever.' A Cavalry Charge
after Elizabe
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