. B----, please send me $1 worth of coffy and $1 worth of shoogar,
some small nales. My wife had a baby last nite, also two padlocks and a
monkey rench."

V.

By the Effusive.

Professor Huxley is credited with the assertion that the primrose is "a
corollifloral dicotyledonous exogen, with a monopetalous corolla and a
central placenta."

A reporter with a large imagination, writing about the decoration of a
church at a fashionable wedding in this city, said that "the church was
ensconced in flowers."

A scientific writer defines sneezing as "a phenomenon provoked either by
an excitation brought to bear on the nasal membrane or by a sudden shock
of the sun's rays on the membranes of the eye. This peripheral
irritation is transmitted by the trifacial nerve to the Gasserian
ganglion, whence it passes by a commissure to an agglomeration of
globules in the medulla oblongata or in the protuberance; from this
point, by a series of numerous reflex and complicated acts, it is
transformed by the mediation of the spinal cord into a centrifugal
excitation which radiates outward by means of the spinal nerves to the
expiratory muscles."

The school committee in Massachusetts recommend exercises in English
composition in these terms:

"Next to the pleasure that pervades the corridors of the soul when it is
entranced by the whiling witchery that presides over it consequent upon
the almost divine productions of Mozart, Haydn, and Handel, whether
these are executed by magician concert parts in deep and highly matured
melody from artistic modulated intonations of the finely cultured human
voice, or played by some fairy-fingered musician upon the trembling
strings of the harp or piano, comes the charming delight we experience
from the mastery of English prose, and the spell-binding wizards of song
who by their art of divination through their magic wand, the pen, have
transformed scenes hitherto unknown and made them as immortal as those
spots of the Orient and mountain haunts of the gods, whether of sunny
Italy or of tuneful, heroic Greece."

A farmer's daughter expresses herself in the following terms:

"Dear Miss:

"The energy of the race prompts me to assure you that my request is
forbidden, the idea of which I awkwardly nourished, notwithstanding my
propensity to reserve. Mr. T will be there--Let me with confidence
assure you that him and brothers will be very happy to meet you and
brothers. Us girls cannot go, fo