nt, or as it is generally called, teetotalism, is
scarcely to be found. The writer is willing to believe that it
originated with well-meaning, though weak people; but there can be no
doubt that it was quickly turned to account by people who were neither
well meaning nor weak. Let the reader note particularly the purpose to
which this cry has been turned in America; the land, indeed, _par
excellence_, of humbug and humbug cries. It is there continually in the
mouth of the most violent political party, and is made an instrument of
almost unexampled persecution. The writer would say more on the
temperance cant, both in England and America, but want of space prevents
him. There is one point on which he cannot avoid making a few brief
remarks--that is the inconsistent conduct of its apostles in general. The
teetotal apostle says, it is a dreadful thing to be drunk. So it is,
teetotaller; but if so, why do you get drunk? I get drunk? Yes, unhappy
man, why do you get drunk on smoke and passion? Why are your garments
impregnated with the odour of the Indian weed? Why is there a pipe or a
cigar always in your mouth? Why is your language more dreadful than that
of a Poissarde? Tobacco-smoke is more deleterious than ale, teetotaller;
bile more potent than brandy. You are fond of telling your hearers what
an awful thing it is to die drunken. So it is, teetotaller. Then take
good care that you do not die with smoke and passion, drunken, and with
temperance language on your lips; that is, abuse and calumny against all
those who differ from you. One word of sense you have been heard to say,
which is, that spirits may be taken as a medicine. Now you are in a
fever of passion, teetotaller; so, pray take this tumbler of brandy; take
it on the homoeopathic principle, that heat is to be expelled by heat.
You are in a temperance fury, so swallow the contents of this tumbler,
and it will, perhaps, cure you. You look at the glass wistfully--you say
you occasionally take a glass medicinally--and it is probable you do.
Take one now. Consider what a dreadful thing it would be to die passion
drunk; to appear before your Maker with _in_temperate language on your
lips. That's right! You don't seem to wince at the brandy. That's
right!--well done! All down in two pulls. Now you look like a
reasonable being!

If the conduct of Lavengro with regard to drink is open to little
censure, assuredly the use which he makes of his fist