reign Office on all sorts of
errands; looking up the oddest assortment of information that you
ever heard of; making reports to Washington on all sorts of things;
then the so-called social duties--giving dinners, receptions, etc.,
and attending them. I hear the most important news I get at
so-called social functions. Then the court functions; and the
meetings and speeches! The American Ambassador must go all over
England and explain every American thing. You'd never recover from
the shock if you could hear me speaking about Education,
Agriculture, the observance of Christmas, the Navy, the
Anglo-Saxon, Mexico, the Monroe Doctrine, Co-education, Woman
Suffrage, Medicine, Law, Radio-Activity, Flying, the Supreme Court,
the President as a Man of letters, Hookworm, the Negro--just get
down the Encyclopaedia and continue the list. I've done this every
week-night for a month, hand running, with a few afternoon
performances thrown in! I have missed only one engagement in these
seven months; and that was merely a private luncheon. I have been
late only once. I have the best chauffeur in the world--he deserves
credit for much of that. Of course, I don't get time to read a
book. In fact, I can't keep up with what goes on at home. To read a
newspaper eight or ten days old, when they come in bundles of three
or four--is impossible. What isn't telegraphed here, I miss; and
that means I miss most things.

I forgot, there are a dozen other kinds of activities, such as
American marriages, which they always want the Ambassador to
attend; getting them out of jail, when they are jugged (I have an
American woman on my hands now, whose four children come to see me
every day); looking after the American insane; helping Americans
move the bones of their ancestors; interpreting the income-tax law;
receiving medals for Americans; hearing American fiddlers,
pianists, players; sitting for American sculptors and
photographers; sending telegrams for property owners in Mexico;
reading letters from thousands of people who have shares in estates
here; writing letters of introduction; getting tickets to the House
Gallery; getting seats in the Abbey; going with people to this and
that and t'other; getting tickets to the races, the art-galleries,
the House of Lords; answering f