mprobable. The KAISER is expected to retort that
without the Monarchy the continuation of Count REVENTLOW is still more
precarious.

***

"Have you not thought," asked a distinguished cleric recently, "that all
this bad weather may be a punishment for working on Sundays?" For our part
we are convinced that our cynical abandonment of the sacred practice of
throwing rice at weddings has had something to do with it.

***

It was stated in Parliament last week that up to April 6th only 2,800
persons had been placed in employment by the National Service Department.
The Government, it was felt, could have done better than that by the simple
process of creating another new Department.

***

[Illustration: SCOTLAND FOR EVER!]

***

The _Journal_ in a recent message states that the British have ample
supplies of ammunition. The Germans near St. Quentin and Lens also incline
to this view.

***

A resident of Northfleet, who wrote to a friend in Philadelphia in 1893,
has just had the letter returned to him through the American Dead Letter
Office. It is only fair to state that the letter was not marked "Urgent."

***

Fortunately in our hour of need one man at least has undertaken to do his
best for his country. Mr. FRANK HARRIS has told an American newspaper man
that he does not intend to return to Great Britain.

***

Owing to the increased cost of beer, several seaside resorts are announcing
to intending visitors that they cannot guarantee a visit from the
sea-serpent this summer.

***

April 14th is said to be "Cuckoo Day" in this country, but several days
before that the KAISER promised political reform to his people after the
War.

***

The other night a motor car driven by a French aviator, who was accompanied
by three friends, made a tour of Paris, in the course of which it ran down
six policemen. It is evident that the gallant fellow could not have been
trying.

***

_The Star_ is advocating the abolition of betting news in the daily papers,
and it is rumoured that its "Captain Cue" is prepared to offer ten to one
that this good thing won't come off.

***

As a protest against the Government's attitude towards _The Nation_ it is
rumoured that Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL is about to buy another hat.

***

A safe which had been stolen from a Dublin business house has now been
discovered in a field nine miles away