"That's all right," he said, recovering himself in a moment "All properly
constructed dials have a compensating table; we shall find one no doubt
behind the ivy; there! I see it, to the left--a compensating table by which
you have to correct the actual record of the shadow. For example, we are
now in Lat. 55 N. The month is April. At Greenwich--"

But I wasn't listening. A bright truth had flashed into my mind, and I
couldn't hold myself back any longer. "It's just about an hour slow," I
said. "You don't think that Daylight Saving has anything to do with it, do
you?"

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Busdriver._--"ALL RIGHT--ALL RIGHT! I SEE YER, YER NEEDN'T
KEEP ON SURRENDERING."]

* * * * *

"About twenty-four hours later one of the ship's officers saw something
bobbing on the water a few hundred years dead ahead."--_New York Evening
Post._

America evidently foresees a long war.

* * * * *

THE STRIFE OF TONGUES.

(_Lines suggested by the recent demise of the inventor of Esperanto._)

As a patriotic Briton
I am naturally smitten
With disgust
When some universal lingo
By a zealous anti-Jingo
Is discussed.

Some there are who hold that Spanish
In the end is bound to banish
Other tongues;
Some again regard Slavonic
As a stimulating tonic
For the lungs.

I would sooner bank on Tuscan,
Ay, or even on Etruscan,
Than on Erse;
But fanatical campaigners,
Gaelic Leaguers and Sinn Feiners
Find it terse.

Some are moved to have a shy at
Persian, thanks to the _Rubaiyat_,
And its ease;
But it's quite another matter
If you're anxious for to chatter
In Chinese.

To instruct a brainy brat in
Canine or colloquial Latin
_May_ be wise;
But it's not an education
As a fruitful speculation
I'd advise.

French? All elegance equips it,
But how oft on foreign lips it
Runs awry;
German, tainted, execrated,
Is for ages relegated
To the sty.

As for brand-new tongues invented
By professors discontented
With the old,
Well, the prospect of a "panto"
Played and sung in Esperanto
Leaves me cold.

* * * * *

"One of the most striking--and satisfactory--features of the new
restaurant regime is the disappearance of the bread-basket."--_Daily