I could not conceal from myself that the bill for damages was altogether
too small; but as France is poor, and the demands upon her exchequer are
great, I determined to send it just as it was, and wait in patience for
the result. I did so, and have been waiting ever since. The recollection
of what the Judge told JOHN BUNYAN when he sent him to jail keeps me up:
"Patient waiting, JOHN," observed the philosophic magistrate, "is no
loss." I try to fancy that I combine the patience of BUNYAN with the
philosophy of the Judge, and in that belief subscribe myself,
Bill-iously yours,

DICK TINTO.

* * * * *

GETTING MARRIED WITHOUT A MASTER.

IN FOUR EASY LESSONS.

Despond not, ye bachelors--anybody can get married. It's as easy as
rolling off from the roof of a six-story house, and quite as beneficial
to the system. I have known people who did this little business without
intending to accomplish it, but they never crowed over it; and I have
known others who have intentionally done it three or four times. But
everybody cannot do this work as it should be done. It's all very well
for you to have an elegant creature of your own, dressed in a white robe
and a blue ribbon; but, if you did not win her in the proper manner, you
feel degraded every time you gaze on her. Style is everything in this
business. For the benefit of the rising generation I have written this
little treatise, which will elucidate all the mysteries of the marriage
business, and will make every man his own guide to wedded bliss.

CHAPTER I.

FINDING THE GAME.

The true sportsman in this field is very wary. He casts his optics
around him until he finds the bird for which he thinks he had better go.
A vast amount of skill can properly be expended here. If the hunter is
young and rich, he can go for almost anything; if he is verging towards
gray hair and false teeth, he must not demand too much in the way of
beauty or money. If he has reached the well-preserved period, he can
have youth or beauty, but not wealth. No true sportsman ever goes for
brains, because it is almost impossible to find them, and, when found,
they are very unsatisfactory.

If the bird is an orphan, examine the books in the Surrogate's office
until you find her father's will; if her papa is still alive and
kicking, persuade her to take his bank-book into the back kitchen and
there count the shekels. Never let your heart get into the mess, for
that co