t, why shouldn't self
and friend dine at the "Oval?" Mr. Snob, sir, the mutton's coming off
the spit at this very minute. Laura and Mrs. Chuff' (he said LAURAR and
Mrs. Chuff; but I hate people who make remarks on these peculiarities of
pronunciation,) 'will be most happy to see you; and I can promise you a
hearty welcome, and as good a glass of port-wine as any in England.'

'This is better than dining at the "Sarcophagus,"' thinks I to myself,
at which Club Wagley and I had intended to take our meal; and so we
accepted the kindly invitation, whence arose afterwards a considerable
intimacy.

Everything about this family and house was so good-natured, comfortable,
and well-conditioned, that a cynic would have ceased to growl there.
Mrs. Laura was all graciousness and smiles, and looked to as great
advantage in her pretty morning-gown as in her dress-robe at Mrs.
Perkins's. Mrs. Chuff fired off her stories about the 'Nebuchadnezzar,'
74, the action between the 'Pitchfork' and the 'Furibonde'--the heroic
resistance of Captain Choufleur, and the quantity of snuff he took, &c.
&c.; which, as they were heard for the first time, were pleasanter than
I have subsequently found them. Sackville Maine was the best of hosts.
He agreed in everything everybody said, altering his opinions without
the slightest reservation upon the slightest possible contradiction.
He was not one of those beings who would emulate a Schonbein or
Friar Bacon, or act the part of an incendiary towards the Thames, his
neighbour--but a good, kind, simple, honest, easy fellow--in love with
his wife--well disposed to all the world--content with himself, content
even with his mother-in-law. Nelson Collingwood, I remember, in the
course of the evening, when whisky-and-water was for some reason
produced, grew a little tipsy. This did not in the least move
Sackville's equanimity. 'Take him upstairs, Joseph,' said he to the
hobbadehoy, 'and--Joseph--don't tell his mamma.'

What could make a man so happily disposed, unhappy? What could cause
discomfort, bickering, and estrangement in a family so friendly and
united? Ladies, it was not my fault--it was Mrs. Chuff's doing--but the
rest of the tale you shall have on a future day.

CHAPTER XLIII--CLUB SNOBS

The misfortune which befell the simple and good-natured young Sackville,
arose entirely from that abominable 'Sarcophagus Club;' and that he ever
entered it was partly the fault of the present writer.

Fo