y what sits in judgment upon dis and oder topics dis ebenin', I
will open de merits of dis opinyun to de verymost chile in understandin'.
Sposen dat we takes dese wurds, "Klu Krux Klam," as dey 'peers in de
original Greek, and transplants dem into de original Inglish. Take de word
Klu, dat wurd about which dare has been so much unsiantickle sputin, and
what is dare in it? Is dare an individooal under de soun' of my voice who
duzzent know de orfograthy of a wurd of three monysimples? Is dare, I
axes, in dis orguss body, a pusson who is sich a babe in understandin' dat
he duzzent know dat b-a-k-e-r spells baccer? Den I say to my spectifle
feller-sitterzens, dat if you will take de wurd Klu, and hang its ole
fashyun'd Inglish close on it, dat it will spell "clew," and if dat is so,
what fudder clew could you have to dis whole subjec'? [A member here rose
to a point of order, objecting to the "orfograthy" of the Hon. Bones'
premise, and claiming that the word under discussion was not "klu," but
"ku." There is no telling what this might have resulted in, if the
individual had been provided with documentary proof of his statement; but
as he was not, he was compelled to retire amid the jeers of the audience
and the loud taunts of the speaker, who elevated himself on a bench in
order that his rhetoric in this instance might have its full effect.] Den,
my feller-sitterzens, if de wurd "klu" means what it says it duz, de wurd
"krux" means krux, and de wurd "klam" means klam--dat is to say, if the
wurd klu means _clew_, neither of dese wurds means nuffin'. Dat pint is
suffishuntly clur to a man up a tree, and no doubt is understood by de
gemmen who spells "klu" widout a l.

But, cummin' back to de merits of de discushun, I disposes now, Mr.
Cheermon, to angeline de word klu, which, as I has before tuk occashun to
say, is de clew to dis whole mystery. Let us taik de consummant k, which
is de indecks letter, and pints to what follers. Duz dis letter have any
siggerfication apart from its connectin' links in dis wurd, or duz it hav
such a siggerfication? I beleevs dat de intellumgence of every pusson in
dis orgunce, if I may except one individooal, will bar me out dat it duz.
Dat pint bein' settled in a excloosive way, which, I may sugges', is much
de smallest part of de wurk, we must now perceed to find de siggerfication
aforesed, and de logickle delusions upon which it rests. What, may I ax,
duz de letter k stan' fur? Duz it stan' fo