t is wood you ask of me. Have I
not this morning early seen with my own eyes the wood ordered?"

"But there is no wood," replied the Captain. "I must have wood for the
fires. It is past noon and my men have not eaten."

"Ah, but I am telling you there is wood," replied the Major. "I saw your
supply officer pay for the wood. By now I believe it has been delivered
for you in the Place de la Republique."

"But it hasn't," remonstrated the Captain, "and the fires have not yet
been started, and----"

"But it is on the way, probably," said the Major. "Maybe it will be
there soon. Maybe it is there now."

The Captain took another tack.

"Where was the wood bought?" he asked.

"From the wood merchant beyond the river," replied the Major. "But it is
already on the way, and----"

"How do you go to the wood merchant?" insisted the Captain. "We have got
to have the wood toot sweet."

"Ah! _tout de suite_--_tout de suite_--_tout de suite_," repeated the
Major in tones of exasperation. "With you Americans it is always _tout
de suite_. Here----"

He took my notebook and drew a plan of streets indicating the way to the
place of the wood merchant. In spite of his remark and the undesired
intrusion of business upon his _dejeuner_, the Major's manner was as
friendly as could be expected from a Town Major. We left on the run.

The wood merchant was a big man, elderly and fat. His face was red and
he had bushy grey eyebrows. He wore a smock of blue cloth that came to
his knees. He remonstrated that it was useless for us to buy wood from
him because wood had already been bought for us. He spoke only French.
The Captain dismissed all further argument by a direct frontal attack on
the subject.

"_Avez-vous de bois?_" asked the Captain.

"_Oui_," the merchant nodded.

"_Avez-vous de chevaux?_" the Captain asked.

"_Oui_," the merchant nodded again.

"_Avez-vous de voiture?_" the Captain asked.

"_Oui_,"--another nod.

"All right then," continued the Captain, and then emphasising each word
by the sudden production of another stiff finger on his extended hand,
he said, "_Du bois--des chevaux--une voiture_--de whole damn
business--and toot sweet."

In some remarkable fashion the kindly wood merchant gathered that the
Captain wanted wood piled in a wagon, drawn by a horse and wanted it in
a hurry. _Tout de suite_, pronounced "toot sweet" by our soldiers, was a
term calling for speed, that was among the first acquired by our