f my howse, for I wyll none
of thy gyft how * * * * Skelton, than consyderynge that the bysshoppe
called hym fole so ofte, sayd to one of hys famylyers therby that,
thoughe it were euyll to be christened a fole, yet it was moche worse to
be confyrmed a fole of suche a bysshoppe: for the name of confyrmacyon
must nedes abyde. Therfore he ymagened howe he myghte auoyde that
confyrmacyon, and mused a whyle; and at the laste sayde to the bysshope
thus: if your lordeshype knewe the names of these fesantes ye wold _be_
contente to take them. Why, caytese, quod the bisshoppe hastly and
angrey, _what_ be theyr names? Y wys, my lorde, quod Skelton, this
fesante is called Alpha, which is in primys--the fyrst; and this is
called O, that is novissimus, the last; and for the more playne
vnderstandynge of my mynde, if it plese your lordeshype to take them, I
promyse you this alpha is the fyrste that euer I gaue you, and this O is
the laste that euer I wyll gyue you whyle I lyue. At which answere all
that were by made great laughter, and they all _desired the Bishoppe_ to
be good lorde vnto him for his merye conceytes, at which _earnest
entrety, as it_ wente, the bysshope was contente to take hym vnto his
fauer agayne.

By thys tale ye may se, that mery conceytes dothe _a man more_ good than
to frete hymselfe with _anger_ and melancholy.

FOOTNOTES:

[76] orig. reads _ever_.

[77] The celebrated poet. The bishop was of course Bishop Nykke, Nikke,
or Nyx, as the name is variously spelled. He held the see from 1501 to
1536.

+ _Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete the carter._ xli.

+ A yoman of the kynges garde, dwellynge in a vyllage besyde London, had
a very fayre yonge wife. To whome a carter of the towne, _a mery_
fellowe, resorted and laye with her dyuers tymes, whan her husbande was
on garde; and thys was so openly knowen that all the towne spake therof.
_A certaine yonge_ man of the towne well acquoyntyd with thys yeman
_told him_ that suche a carter hadde layne by his wyfe. To whome _this
yeman of the garde_ sware by Goddes body, if he mette with hym it
_should go harde but he wolde bete him well._ _Hey_, quod the yonge man,
if ye go streyght euen nowe the _right way_, ye _shall_ ouertake him
dryuyng a carte laden with haye towarde London; wherfore the yeman of
the garde incontynent rode after this carter, and within shorte space
overtoke him and knewe him well ynoughe, and incontynent called the
carter