e, which I
found among the Gravel in our Garden. I was wonderfully delighted with
this; but Thunder-bolts growing scarce, I fasten'd Tooth and Nail upon
our Garden-Wall, which I stuck to almost a Twelvemonth, and had in
that time peeled and devoured half a Foot towards our Neighbour's
Yard. I now thought my self the happiest Creature in the World, and I
believe in my Conscience, I had eaten quite through, had I had it in
my Chamber; but now I became lazy, and unwilling to stir, and was
obliged to seek Food nearer Home. I then took a strange Hankering to
Coals; I fell to scranching 'em, and had already consumed, I am
certain, as much as would have dressed my Wedding Dinner, when my
Uncle came for me Home. He was in the Parlour with my Governess when I
was called down. I went in, fell on my Knees, for he made me call him
Father; and when I expected the Blessing I asked, the good Gentleman,
in a Surprize, turns himself to my Governess, and asks, Whether this
(pointing to me) was his Daughter? This (added he) is the very Picture
of Death. My Child was a plump-fac'd, hale, fresh-coloured Girl; but
this looks as if she was half-starved, a mere Skeleton. My Governess,
who is really a good Woman, assured my Father I had wanted for
nothing; and withal told him I was continually eating some Trash or
other, and that I was almost eaten up with the Green-sickness, her
Orders being never to cross me. But this magnified but little with my
Father, who presently, in a kind of Pett, paying for my Board, took me
home with him. I had not been long at home, but one _Sunday_ at Church
(I shall never forget it) I saw a young neighbouring Gentleman that
pleased me hugely; I liked him of all Men I ever saw in my Life, and
began to wish I could be as pleasing to him. The very next Day he
came, with his Father, a visiting to our House: We were left alone
together, with Directions on both Sides to be in Love with one
another, and in three Weeks time we were married. I regained my former
Health and Complexion, and am now as happy as the Day is long. Now,
_Mr_. SPEC., I desire you would find out some Name for these craving
Damsels, whether dignified or distinguished under some or all of the
following Denominations, (to wit) _Trash-eaters, Oatmeal-chewers,
Pipe-champers, Chalk-lickers, Wax-nibbles, Coal-Scranchers,
Wall-peelers_, or _Gravel-diggers_: And, good Sir, do your utmost