father, "that throws a new light on the subject."

PISISTRATUS (full of his grievances, and not caring three straws about
the origin of the Scandinavians).--"I know that if we are to lose L500
every year on a farm which we hold rent-free, and which the best judges
allow to be a perfect model for the whole country, we had better make
haste and turn AEsir, or Aser, or whatever you call them, and fix a
settlement on the property of other nations, otherwise, I suspect, our
probable settlement will be on the parish."

MR. SQUILLS (who, it must be remembered, is an enthusiastic
Free-trader). "You have only got to put more capital on the land."

PISISTRATUS.--"Well, Mr. Squills, as you think so well of that
investment, put your capital on it. I promise that you shall have every
shilling of profit."

MR. SQUILLS (hastily retreating behind the "Times")--"I don't think
the Great Western can fall any lower, though it is hazardous; I can but
venture a few hundreds--"

PISISTRATUS.--"On our land, Squills?--Thank you."

MR. SQUILLS.--"No, no,--anything but that; on the Great Western."

Pisistratus relaxes into gloom. Blanche steals up coaxingly, and gets
snubbed for her pains.

A pause.

MR. CAXTON.--"There are two golden rules of life; one relates to the
mind, and the other to the pockets. The first is, If our thoughts get
into a low, nervous, aguish condition, we should make them change the
air; the second is comprised in the proverb, 'It is good to have two
strings to one's bow.' Therefore, Pisistratus, I tell you what you must
do,--Write a book!"

PISISTRATUS.--"Write a book! Against the abolition of the Corn Laws?
Faith, sir, the mischief's done! It takes a much better pen than mine to
write down an act of parliament."

MR. CAXTON.--"I only said, 'Write a book.' All the rest is the addition
of your own headlong imagination."

PISISTRATUS (with the recollection of The Great Book rising before
him).--"Indeed, sir, I should think that that would just finish us!"

MR. CAXTON (not seeming to heed the interruption).--"A book that will
sell; a book that will prop up the fall of prices; a book that will
distract your mind from its dismal apprehensions, and restore your
affection to your species and your hopes in the ultimate triumph of
sound principles--by the sight of a favourable balance at the end of
the yearly accounts. It is astonishing what a difference that little
circumstance makes in our views of things in gene