sistance.
Thus I once more became tender and affectionate; I begged pardon for what
I had said and done. Her fiery kisses replied to mine, and I thought her
glance and the soft pressure of her body were inviting me to gather the
delicious fruit; but just as my hand opened the door of the sanctuary,
she gave a sudden movement, and the chance was lost.
"What! you would deceive me again."
"No, no but we have done enough now. I promise to spend the night in your
arms in your own house."
For a moment I lost my senses. I only saw the deceitful wretch who had
profited by my foolish credulity so many times, and I resolved to enjoy
or take vengeance. I held her down with my left arm, and drawing a small
knife from my pocket I opened it with my teeth and pricked her neck,
threatening to kill her if she resisted me.
"Do as you like," she said with perfect calm, "I only ask you to leave me
my life, but after you have satisfied yourself I will not leave the spot;
I will not enter your carriage unless you carry me by force, and
everybody shall know the reason."
This threat had no effect, for I had already got back my senses, and I
pitied myself for being degraded by a creature for whom I had the
greatest contempt, in spite of the almost magical influence she had over
me, and the furious desires she knew how to kindle in my breast. I rose
without a word, and taking my hat and cane I hastened to leave a place
where unbridled passion had brought me to the brink of ruin.
My readers will scarcely believe me (but it is nevertheless the exact
truth) when I say that the impudent creature hastened to rejoin me, and
took my arm again as if nothing had happened. A girl of her age could not
have played the part so well unless she had been already tried in a
hundred battles. When we rejoined the company I was asked if I were ill,
while nobody noticed the slightest alteration in her.
When we got back to London I excused myself under the plea of a bad
headache, and returned home.
The adventure had made a terrible impression on me, and I saw that if I
did not avoid all intercourse with this girl I should be brought to ruin.
There was something about her I could not resist. I therefore resolved to
see her no more, but feeling ashamed of my weakness in giving her the
bills of exchange I wrote her mother a note requesting her to make her
daughter return them, or else I should be compelled to take harsh
measures.
In the afternoon I
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