to make a show of a modesty which
certainly did not belong to her, and, knowing that her modesty would only
be all pretence, I was determined not to be a mere toy in her hands.
As for the captain, I felt certain, from what he had told me, that he
would not be angry with me if I risked a declaration, for as a sensible
man he could only assume a neutral position.
Satisfied with my wise reasoning, and with my mind fully made up, I fell
asleep. My thoughts were too completely absorbed by Henriette for her not
to haunt my dreams, but the dream which I had throughout the night was so
much like reality that, on awaking, I looked for her in my bed, and my
imagination was so deeply struck with the delights of that night that, if
my door had not been fastened with a bolt, I should have believed that
she had left me during my sleep to resume her place near the worthy
Hungarian.
When I was awake I found that the happy dream of the night had turned my
love for the lovely creature into a perfect amorous frenzy, and it could
not be other wise. Let the reader imagine a poor devil going to bed
broken down with fatigue and starvation; he succumbs to sleep, that most
imperative of all human wants, but in his dream he finds himself before a
table covered with every delicacy; what will then happen? Why, a very
natural result. His appetite, much more lively than on the previous day,
does not give him a minute's rest he must satisfy it or die of sheer
hunger.
I dressed myself, resolved on making sure of the possession of the woman
who had inflamed all my senses, even before resuming our journey.
"If I do not succeed," I said to myself, "I will not go one step
further."
But, in order not to offend against propriety, and not to deserve the
reproaches of an honest man, I felt that it was my duty to have an
explanation with the captain in the first place.
I fancy that I hear one of those sensible, calm, passionless readers, who
have had the advantage of what is called a youth without storms, or one
of those whom old age has forced to become virtuous, exclaim,
"Can anyone attach so much importance to such nonsense?"
Age has calmed my passions down by rendering them powerless, but my heart
has not grown old, and my memory has kept all the freshness of youth; and
far from considering that sort of thing a mere trifle, my only sorrow,
dear reader, arises from the fact that I have not the power to practise,
to the day of my death, th
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