s
petition, which he did very promptly and easily; though at the same time
it set forth that he could see nothing distinctly, and was within very
few degrees of being utterly blind, concluding with a prayer that he
might be permitted to strengthen and extend his sight by a glass.
In answer to this I told him he might sometimes extend it to his own
destruction. "As you are now," said I, "you are out of the reach of
beauty, the shafts of the finest eyes lose their force before they can
come at you; you cannot distinguish a Toast from an orange-wench;
you can see a whole circle of beauty without any interruption from
an impertinent face to discompose you. In short, what are snares for
others--" My petitioner would hear no more, but told me very seriously,
"Mr. Bickerstaff, you quite mistake your man; it is the joy, the
pleasure, the employment, of my life to frequent public assemblies,
and gaze upon the fair." In a word, I found his use of a glass was
occasioned by no other infirmity than his vanity, and was not so much
designed to make him see, as to make him be seen and distinguished by
others. I therefore refused him a license for a perspective, but allowed
him a pair of spectacles, with full permission to use them in any public
assembly as he should think fit. He was followed by so very few of this
order of men that I have reason to hope this sort of cheats are almost
at an end.

The orange-flower-men appeared next with petitions perfumed so strongly
with musk, that I was almost overcome with the scent; and for my own
sake was obliged forthwith to license their handkerchiefs, especially
when I found they had sweetened them at Charles Lillie's, and that some
of their persons would not be altogether inoffensive without them. John
Morphew, whom I have made the general of my dead men, acquainted me that
the petitioners were all of that order, and could produce certificates
to prove it if I required it. I was so well pleased with this way of
embalming themselves that I commanded the above-said Morphew to give it
in his orders to his whole army, that every one, who did not surrender
himself to be disposed of by the upholders, should use the same method
to keep himself sweet during his present state of putrefaction.

I finished my session with great content of mind, reflecting upon
the good I had done; for, however slightly men may regard these
particularities, "and little follies in dress and behaviour, they lead
to greate