n appeared, he was
sure to have a side-glance of observation; if a disagreeable fellow, he
had a full face, out of more inclination to conquests; but at the close
of the evening, on the sixth of the last month, my ward was sitting on a
couch, reading Ovid's epistles; and as she came to this line of Helen to
Paris,

'She half consents who silently denies,'

entered Philander, who is the most skilful of all men in an address to
women. He is arrived at the perfection of that art which gains them;
which is, 'to talk like a very miserable man, but look like a very happy
one.' I saw Dictinna blush at his entrance, which gave me the alarm; but
he immediately said something so agreeable on her being at study, and
the novelty of finding a lady employed in so grave a manner, that he
on a sudden became very familiarly a man of no consequence, and in an
instant laid all her suspicions of his skill asleep, as he had almost
done mine, till I observed him very dangerously turn his discourse upon
the elegance of her dress, and her judgment in the choice of that very
pretty mourning. Having had women before under my care, I trembled at
the apprehension of a man of sense who could talk upon trifles, and
resolved to stick to my post with all the circumspection imaginable. In
short, I prepossessed her against all he could say to the advantage of
her dress and person; but he turned again the discourse, where I found
I had no power over her, on the abusing her friends and acquaintance.
He allowed, indeed, that Flora had a little beauty, and a great deal of
wit; but then she was so ungainly in her behaviour, and such a laughing
hoyden! Pastorella had with him the allowance of being blameless; but
what was that towards being praiseworthy? To be only innocent is not to
be virtuous! He afterwards spoke so much against Mrs. Dipple's forehead,
Mrs. Prim's mouth, Mrs. Dentifrice's teeth, and Mrs. Fidget's cheeks
that she grew downright in love with him; for it is always to be
understood that a lady takes all you detract from the rest of her sex
to be a gift to her. In a word, things went so far that I was dismissed.
The next, as I said, I went to was a common swearer. Never was a
creature so puzzled as myself when I came first to view his brain; half
of it was worn out, and filled up with mere expletives that had nothing
to do with any other parts of the texture; therefore, when he called for
his clothes in a morning, he would cry, 'John!' Jo