d but open my lips; insomuch
that I was grown so cunning as to pretend myself asleep when I was not,
to prevent my being crammed. But my grandmother began a loud lecture
upon the idleness of the wives of this age, who, for fear of their
shape, forbear suckling their own offspring; and ten nurses were
immediately sent for; one was whispered to have a wanton eye, and would
soon spoil her milk; another was in a consumption; the third had an
ill voice, and would frighten me instead of lulling me to sleep. Such
exceptions were made against all but one country milch-wench, to whom I
was committed, and put to the breast. This careless jade was eternally
romping with the footman and downright starved me; insomuch that I daily
pined away, and should never have been relieved had it not been that,
on the thirtieth day of my life, a Fellow of the Royal Society, who had
writ upon Cold Baths, came to visit me, and solemnly protested I was
utterly lost for want of that method; upon which he soused me head and
ears into a pail of water, where I had the good fortune to be drowned;
and so escaped being lashed into a linguist till sixteen, and being
married to an ill-natured wife till sixty, which had certainly been my
fate had not the enchantment between body and soul been broken by this
philosopher. Thus, till the age I should have otherwise lived, I am
obliged to watch the steps of men; and, if you please, shall accompany
you in your present walk, and get you intelligence from the aerial
lackey, who is in waiting, what are the thoughts and purposes of any
whom you inquire for."

I accepted his kind offer, and immediately took him with me in a hack to
White's.

*****

White's Chocolate-house, May 13.

We got in hither, and my companion threw a powder round us, that made
me as invisible as himself; so that we could see and hear all others,
ourselves unseen and unheard.

The first thing we took notice of was a nobleman of a goodly and frank
aspect, with his generous birth and temper visible in it, playing at
cards with a creature of a black and horrid countenance, wherein were
plainly delineated the arts of his mind, cozenage, and falsehood.
They were marking their game with counters, on which we could see
inscriptions, imperceptible to any but us. My Lord had scored with
pieces of ivory, on which were writ, "Good Fame, Glory, Riches, Honour,
and Posterity!" The spectre over-against him had on his counte