earnest, and they gave the poor professor divers and sundry medicines,
as prescribed by the ancients and moderns, from Hippocrates to
Feuchtersleben, as below, viz.--

1. _Hellebore, to wit_--
_Hellebore of AEta._
_Hellebore of Galatia._
_Hellebore of Sicily._
_And all other Hellebores, after the method of the
Helleborising Helleborists of the Helleboric era.
But that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles
would not stir an inch out of his encephalo digital
region._

2. _Trying to find out what was the matter with him, after the
method of_
_Hippocrates_,
_Aretaeus_,
_Celsus_,
_C[oe]lius Aurelianus_,
_And Galen_.

But they found that a great deal too much trouble, as most people have
since; and so had recourse to--

3. _Borage._
_Cauteries._

Boring a hole in his head to let out fumes, which (says Gordonius)
"will, without doubt, do much good." But it didn't.

_Bezoar stone._
_Diamargaritum._
_A ram's brain boiled in spice._
_Oil of wormwood._
_Water of Nile._
_Capers._
_Good wine (but there was none to be got)._
_The water of a smith's forge._
_Hops._
_Ambergris._
_Mandrake pillows._
_Dormouse fat._
_Hares' ears._
_Starvation._
_Camphor._
_Salts and senna._
_Musk._
_Opium._
_Strait-waistcoats._
_Bullyings._
_Bumpings._
_Blisterings._
_Bleedings._
_Bucketings with cold water._
_Knockings down._
_Kneeling on his chest till they broke it in,
etc. etc.; after the mediaeval or monkish
method: but that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's
blue follicles stuck there still._

Then--

4. _Coaxing._
_Kissing._
_Champagne and turtle._
_Red herrings and soda water._
_Good advice._
_Gardening._
_Croquet._
_Musical soirees._
_Aunt Sally._
_Mild tobacco._
_The Saturday Review._
_A carriage with outriders, etc. etc._

After the modern method. But that would not do.

And if he had but been a convict lunatic, and had shot at the Queen,
killed all his creditors to avoid paying them, or indulged in any other
little amiable eccentricity of that kind, they would have given him in
addition--

The healthiest situation in England, on Easthampstead Plain.

Free run of Windsor Forest.

The _Times_ every morning