ts to hide her face, though her laughter was betrayed
by the shaking of her handsome shoulders. There was a pause of some moments
before she resumed, "My father shall know of this," and so forth.

Last week, when Doris, my niece, chose that I should take her to see _The
Girl of Forty-Seven_, I was not unwilling again to enjoy Apps's humour. I
listened with especial care as we approached the scene in the play to which
I have referred. Perhaps he would employ some still more successful gag. At
last came _Clementina's_ outburst. "Loathsome scoundrel, how I detest and
despise you!" she exclaimed with vehemence. "Not too much soda, Verbena,"
replied the comedian gently, with a mischievous glance of curiosity. The
actress gave a look of amazement, then quickly turned her back to the
audience, where she stood for some moments with her face in her hands and
her shoulders shaking, the audience laughing aloud with delight. The action
of the play was delayed for some moments before Miss Verbena Vaine resumed
her part.

* * * * *

Another Sinecure.

"Wanted, Housemaid, L45, for three in family, three maids; no
children; good room; all time off usual."--_Morning Paper._

* * * * *

The Domestic Problem.

"----'s Registry have ladies waiting here daily, 2 to 4.30, for all
kinds of maids (with or without experience)."--_Scotch Paper._

We don't doubt it for a moment.

* * * * *

"Councillor ----: Can we afford to allow the town to be in real
jeopardy every hour?

The Chairman (to the Brigade Captain): Did you have to take the horses
away from a funeral the other day, when there was a call?

Brigade Captain: We had to wait until the funeral party got back."

_Local Paper._

"Where are the gees of the Old Brigade?"
"Gone to a funeral, Sir," she said.

* * * * *

[Illustration: HUNT STEEPLECHASE.

_Voice from the Crowd_ (_to sportsman whose horse has refused the brook_).
"NOW THEN, GUVNOR, WHAT YER AFRAID OF?--SPOILING THE FISHING?"]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)

Countless readers, fusionists and others, will be glad to have Mr. HAROLD
SPENDER'S sparkling abstract of the more romantic passages in the life of
_The Prime Minister_ (HODDER AND STOUGHTON). The fir