art, saying the
Backside was the cleanest Part of the Body._

POLYMYTHUS, GELASINUS, EUTRAPELUS, ASTAEUS, PHILYTHLUS,
PHILOGELOS, EUGLOTTUS, LEROCHARES, ADOLESCHES, LEVINUS.

_Pol._ As it is unfitting for a well order'd City to be without Laws and
without a Governor; so neither ought a Feast to be without Orders and a
President.

_Ge._ If I may speak for the rest, I like it very well.

_Po._ Soho, Sirrah! bring hither the Dice, the Matter shall be
determin'd by their Votes; he shall be our President that _Jupiter_
shall favour. O brave! _Eutrapelus_ has it, the fittest Man that could
be chosen, if we had every individual Man of us thrown. There is an
usual Proverb, that has more Truth in't than good Latin, _Novus Rex nova
Lex, New Lords new Laws_. Therefore, King, make thou Laws.

_Eut._ That this may be a merry and happy Banquet, in the first Place I
command, that no Man tell a Story but what is a ridiculous one. He that
shall have no Story to tell, shall pay a Groat, to be spent in Wine; and
Stories invented extempore shall be allow'd as legitimate, provided
Regard be had to Probability and Decency. If no Body shall want a Story,
let those two that tell, the one the pleasantest, and the other the
dullest, pay for Wine. Let the Master of the Feast be at no Charge for
Wine, but only for the Provisions of the Feast. If any Difference about
this Matter shall happen, let _Gelasinus_ be Judge. If you agree to
these Conditions, let 'em be ratified. He that won't observe the Orders,
let him be gone, but with Liberty to come again to a Collation the next
Day.

_Ge._ We give our Votes for the Passing the Bill our King has brought
in. But who must tell the first Story?

_Eut._ Who should, but the Master of the Feast?

_As._ But, Mr. King, may I have the liberty to speak three Words?

_Eut._ What, do you take the Feast to be an unlucky one?

_As._ The Lawyers deny that to be Law that is not just.

_Eut._ I grant it.

_As._ Your Law makes the best and worst Stories equal.

_Eut._ Where Diversion is the Thing aim'd at, there he deserves as much
Commendation who tells the worst, as he that tells the best Story,
because it affords as much Merriment; as amongst Songsters none are
admir'd but they that sing very well, or they that sing very ill. Do not
more laugh to hear the Cuckoo than to hear the Nightingal? In this Case
Mediocrity is not Praise-worthy.

_As._ But pray, why must they be punish'd, tha