ity. In fact, what remains when we strip from a Wellington the
field-marshal's uniform of celebrity?

I have here given the best apology for Lord Wellington--in the English
sense of the word. My readers will be astonished when I honorably
confess that I once praised this hero--and clapped on all sail in so
doing. It is a good story, and I will tell it here:

My barber in London was a Radical, named Mr. White--poor little man in
a shabby black dress, worn until it almost shone white again; he was
so lean that even his full face looked like a profile, and the sighs in
his bosom were visible ere they rose. These sighs were caused by the
misfortunes of Old England--by the impossibility of paying the National
Debt.

"Ah!" I generally heard him sigh, "why need the English people trouble
themselves as to who reigns in France, and what the French are a-doing
at home? But the high nobility, sir, and the High Church were afraid of
the principles of liberty of the French Revolution; and to keep down
these principles John Bull must give his gold and his blood, and make
debts into the bargain. We've got all we wanted out of the war--the
Revolution has been put down, the French eagles of liberty have had
their wings cut, and the High Church may be cock-sure that none of these
eagles will come a-flying over the Channel; and now the high nobility
and the High Church between 'em ought to pay, anyway, for the debts
which were made for their own good, and not for any good of the poor
people. Ah! the poor people!"

Whenever Mr. White came to the "poor people" he always sighed more
deeply than ever, and the refrain then was that bread and porter were so
dear that the poor people must starve to feed fat lords, stag-hounds,
and priests, and that there was only one remedy. At these words he was
wont to whet his razor, and as he drew it murderously up and down the
strop, he murmured grimly to himself, "Lords, priests, hounds!"

[Illustration: THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON]

But his Radical rage boiled most fiercely against the Duke of
Wellington; he spat gall and poison whenever he alluded to him, and as
he lathered me he himself foamed with rage. Once I was fairly frightened
when he, while barbering away at my neck, burst out in wonted wise
against Wellington, murmuring all the while, "If I only had him _this_
way under my razor, _I'd_ save him the trouble of cutting his own
throat, as his brother in office and fellow-countryman, Londonderry,