, at Silleri.

Dover, July 8.

I am this moment arrived, my dear Bell, after a very agreable
passage, and am setting out immediately for London, from whence I shall
write to you the moment I have seen Mrs. Rivers; I will own to you I
tremble at the idea of this interview, yet am resolved to see her, and
open all my soul to her in regard to her son; after which, I shall
leave her the mistress of my destiny; for, ardently as I love him, I
will never marry him but with her approbation.

I have a thousand anxious fears for my Rivers's safety: may heaven
protect him from the dangers his Emily has escaped!

I have but a moment to write, a ship being under way which is bound
to Quebec; a gentleman, who is just going off in a boat to the ship,
takes the care of this.

May every happiness attend my dear girl. Say every thing
affectionate for me to Captain Fermor and Mr. Fitzgerald.

Adieu! Yours,
Emily Montague.

LETTER 162.

To Miss Fermor, at Silleri.

London, July 19.

I got to town last night, my dear, and am at a friend's, from whence
I have this morning sent to Mrs. Rivers; I every moment expect her
answer; my anxiety of mind is not to be expressed; my heart sinks; I
almost dread the return of my messenger.

If the affections, my dear friend, give us the highest happiness of
which we are capable, they are also the source of our keenest misery;
what I feel at this instant, is not to be described: I have been near
resolving to go into the country without seeing or sending to Mrs.
Rivers. If she should receive me with coldness--why should I have
exposed myself to the chance of such a reception? It would have been
better to have waited for Rivers's arrival; I have been too
precipitate; my warmth of temper has misled me: what had I to do to
seek his family? I would give the world to retract my message, though
it was only to let her know I was arrived; that her son was well, and
that she might every hour expect him in England.

There is a rap at the door: I tremble I know not why; the servant
comes up, he announces Mr. and Mrs. Temple: my heart beats, they are at
the door.

One o'clock.

They are gone, and return for me in an hour; they insist on my
dining with them, and tell me Mrs. Rivers is impatient to see me.
Nothing was ever so polite, so delicate, so affectionate, as the
behaviour of both; they saw my confusion, and did every thing to
remove it: they enquired after Rivers, but wi