at'd be like learnin' to eat without grub," suggested Sube as the
party moved off in the direction of the swimming-hole.

When Biscuit walked into the house a few minutes afterwards, he came
upon his mother in conversation with a tall young man, who, had he lived
up to his teeth, would have been prominent.

"Yes, madam," the caller was saying, "we have added a number of new
courses to our curriculum and are now in a position to offer to the
world, I might say, universal knowledge. We now cover, I might say, the
entire field of human endeavor.

"Take for example the ordinary day of life. It begins the instant one is
out of bed in the morning. First, take our morning exercises. They come
in our excellent course in _Physical Culture and Muscle-building_, with
full directions how to increase your weight a pound a day"--he glanced
at Mrs. Westfall and observing her ample figure, added--"also, I might
say, how to reduce your weight to any desired figure.

"Next in order would come our course in _The Bath; How to Give or Take
One_. After that would come our fashionable course, _Dress; What to Wear
and When_. Follow this with our complete course in _Domestic Science and
Home Economy_, which, I might say, contains a menu for three meals a day
for three hundred and sixty-five days, or a full year. When the
breakfast is prepared and on the table, our course in _Etiquette and
Table Manners, the Science of Good Form_. This teaches one what to do
when at the table; how to eat rare and unusual food; which fork to use;
disposing of the discard; what to say, and many other difficult
questions that are wont to arise at the table.

"Then comes the broad field of the day's work. Our courses cover, I
might say, every known profession or employment from A to et cetera;
from _Accounting to Zebra Raising_. For the evening a large number of
courses will be found available. _Billiards, How to Become a Cue
Expert_; _Bowling_, _Boxing_; _How to Train for the Ring_; _Dancing,
Tango Taught in Ten Lessons_--"

Mrs. Westfall began to show signs of distress, and the young man
instantly changed his method of attack.

"Madam," he said suddenly, "what is your hobby? What are you most
interested in?"

"Why--why missionary work, I think," she stammered.

"Ha! I have just the thing! _How to Become a Missionary, Home or
Foreign_. This is a most illuminating course, madam. Listen to some of
the chapter headings: How to Approach a Heathen, Outwitting