;" _i.e._, I wish that
bald-headed old fool, with a wart on his nose, would sit in a back row
where I couldn't see him.

"_You have all heard the details of what took place in a certain
district, not so very long ago_;" _i.e._, I wish devoutly I could
remember the details, the name of the district, and the date. However,
they don't know, so it's all right.

"_By that remark I am suddenly reminded of an incident, &c._;" _i.e._,
Here's an opportunity for bringing in that carefully prepared story!

"_A moral victory_;" _i.e._, Any electoral defeat which "sheer fudge"
can extenuate, or party sophistry explain away.

EDITORIAL.

"_Regret that it's not suitable to this Magazine_;" _i.e._, Rot.

"_Mr. So-and-So's MS. is under consideration_;" _i.e._, Beneath it.

AFTER A SONG.

"_Who's that by?_" _i.e._, Not that I care. But I'm nearest.

IN A STUDIO.

"_Ah! THAT'S a picture!_" _i.e._, And a thoroughly bad picture too.

IN COURT.

"_It will be within your Ludship's recollection_;" _i.e._, Your Ludship
has been asleep and forgotten all about it.

"_As your Ludship pleases_;" _i.e._, Stupid old Foozle!

MILITARY.

[Illustration]

"_Must do it for the sake of the Regiment_;" _i.e._, An excuse for any
folly or extravagance, from keeping a pack of hounds to entertaining
Royalty.

"_All our Privates (off parade) wear gloves and carry canes_;" _i.e._,
Colonel of Militia regiment, safe in the knowledge that the Battalion he
commands is three hundred miles away, thinks it wise to indulge in a
little fancy portraiture.

JOURNALISTIC.

"_It is reported, on reliable authority, that at the Cabinet Council
which took place yesterday afternoon, &c._;" _i.e._, The "authority" in
question being the cook's assistant's boy, who had taken in the
Under-Secretary's lunch, and had half-a-minute's confidential
conversation with the office messenger on the back staircase.

"_On the fall of the Curtain, there seemed to be some division of
opinion among the audience_;" _i.e._, A boy in the gallery hissed.

"_The Prisoner, who did not appear to appreciate the very serious,
&c._;" _i.e._, Formula to be used in all cases of crime of more than
ordinary brutality.

"_Much curiosity prevails in literary circles respecting the authorship
of that very remarkable Novel, 'Flat as a Pancake.'_" (Advt.)

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

[Illustration]

_A Daughter's Sacrifice._ By Messrs. F. C. PHILI