s the passionate woman seeks her lover. I recall a period--I was
approaching womanhood--during which I prayed continuously and
earnestly that it might be granted to me, as to the saints of old, to
see God and the Risen Christ. For long I received no answer. This did
not weaken my faith, but the great trouble of my mind became for long
a consciousness of my own unworthiness. I began an absurd and childish
system of self-punishments, and what I thought would lead to
purification. Then there came a night--it was summer and I was looking
from my window out at the beautiful evening sky--when my prayer was
answered. I seemed, in very truth, to see God. From that time, and for
long, I lived in extraordinary happiness. I am sure that I must have
become hysterical. I felt that I was set apart by God; I conceived the
idea of founding a new religious sect. That I made no attempt to do
this was due to circumstances, which forced me into active work to
gain my own living. Religion continued very largely in my life, but I
was too healthily occupied to be favoured with any more visions. But
the essential point in all this is its close connection with my sexual
development. So far I had never been in love. I believe that the
natural sex desires awakened consciously in me much later than is
common. My need for religion lasted until my sex needs were fully
satisfied, then, little by little, it faded. I want to state the
truth. I did not then trace, nor should I have understood, this
connection. The knowledge came to me long years afterwards; how it
does not matter, but I am certain that in me the religious impulse and
the sex impulse are one.

Love has in it much of the same supernatural element as religion. Both
the sex-act and the act of finding salvation come into intimate
association with woman's need of dependence; hence arises the
remarkable relation between the two, and that easy transition of
sexual emotion into religious emotion which is manifest in so many
women. In both cases the surrender, the renunciation of personal will,
is an experience fraught with passionate pleasure. "Love," as H.G.
Wells has said, "is the individualised correlation of salvation, like
that it is a synthetic consequence of conflict and confusions." It is
true that few women render love the compliment of taking it seriously.
To many it is merely this: a little amusement, clothes, a home, money
to buy new toys; some mild pleasure, a little chagrin, a litt