urally be expected from an
individual thoroughly imbued with the spirit of Christianity, while his
very neighbors, who are professing Christians, appear, by their
conduct, to be destitute of such a spirit? Which, then, in practice (I
mean so far as this fact is concerned) are the best Christians? But I
know what will be the answer; and I know that these things ought not so
to be.

No good reason can be given why a Christian should not be as well-bred
as his neighbor. It is difficult to conceive how a person can follow
the rules given in the Sermon on the Mount, without being, and showing
himself to be, well-bred. I have even known men who were no friends to
the bible, to declare it as their unequivocal belief that he whose life
should conform to the principles of that sermon, could not avoid being
_truly polite_.

There are not a few who _confound_ good-breeding with affectation, just
as they confound a reasonable attention to dress with foppery. This
calling things by wrong names is very common, how much soever it may be
lamented.

_Good-breeding_, or true politeness, is the art of showing men, by
external signs, the internal regard we have for them. It arises from
good sense, improved by good company. Good-breeding is never to be
learned, though it may be _improved_, by the study of books; and
therefore they who attempt it, appear stiff and pedantic. The really
well-bred, as they become so by use and observation, are not liable to
affectation. You see good-breeding in all they do, without seeing the
art of it. Like other habits, it is acquired by practice.

An engaging manner and genteel address may be out of our power,
although it is a misfortune that it should be so. But it is in the
power of every body to be kind, condescending, and affable. It is in
the power of every person who has any thing to say to a fellow being,
to say it with kind feelings, and with a sincere desire to please; and
this, whenever it is done, will atone for much awkwardness in the
manner of expression. Forced complaisance is foppery; and affected
easiness is ridiculous.

Good-breeding is, and ought to be, an amiable and persuasive thing; it
beautifies the actions and even the looks of men. But the _grimace_ of
good-breeding is not less _odious_.

In short, good-breeding is a forgetting of ourselves so far as to seek
what may be agreeable to others, but in so artless and delicate a
manner as will scarcely allow them to _perceive_ that