mule is to shoe, Mrs.
Lathrop, an' you know what Gran'ma Mullins an' Lucy is when they take to
discussin' Hiram. I'll take my Bible oath as when Gran'ma Mullins an'
Lucy gets to discussin' Hiram they couldn't hear no steam penelope out
of a circus, not if it was settin' full tilt right on their very own
door-mat. So poor Mrs. Macy laid there an' hollered till Mrs. Sweet came
for the cullender.

"Mrs. Sweet says, _the_ shock she got when she opened the door an' see
Mrs. Macy with the carpet on her was enough to upset anybody.

"She says she thought at first as Mrs. Macy was tryin' to take up her
carpet by crawlin' under it an' makin' the tacks come out that way. But
then she see as her face was up an' of course no Christian'd ever crawl
under no carpet with her face up. So she asked her what was the matter,
an' Mrs. Macy told her frank an' open as she did n't know what was the
matter. Then Mrs. Sweet went to work an' tried to set her up. An' she
says the way she yelled!

"She says she jerked her by the arms, an' by the legs, an' even by the
head, an' her howls only grew awfuler an' awfuler. Mrs. Macy says as her
agonies was terrible every time she slid a little along, an' she just
begged an' prayed for her to go an' get young Dr. Brown. So finally Mrs.
Sweet ran next door an' separated Lucy an' Gran'ma Mullins an' Lucy went
for young Dr. Brown an' Gran'ma Mullins an' Mrs. Sweet went for Mrs.
Macy. Oh, my, but their story is as they jerked hard then, for they
wanted her to be respectable in bed afore he came, but it was no use an'
he bounced in an' fell over Mrs. Macy an' the carpet afore his eyes got
used to where he was. They had to help him up an' then he had to go in
the kitchen an' disinfect his bump afore he could take a look at Mrs.
Macy. But seems he got around to her at last an' felt her pulse an' then
as he'd forgot his kinetoscope he just pounded her softly all over with
the tack-hammer, but he did n't find out nothin' that way for she yelled
wherever he hit her. He said then as he'd like to turn X-rays through
her, only as there is n't no cellar under her house just there there'd
be no way to get a picture of the other side of what was the matter with
her.

"So he said she _must_ be got up, an' although she howled as she could
n't be, he had Lucy an' Hiram an' the blacksmith's crowbar an' the
blacksmith, an' it was plain as she'd have to come whether nor no. Mrs.
Sweet says it was surely a sight to see. T