it, an' gettin' more mad all the
time."

"What--" began Mrs. Lathrop.

"The one about the celebration as he printed in this week's paper,"
replied her friend; "they was for discussin' nothin' else after church
to-day, an' one an' all is dead set against the way as Elijah says.
Them as has bought their fireworks ain't pleased, of course, an' Mr.
Kimball says as he considers that Elijah had ought to of consulted him
afore he printed such a article in the hind part of a uncle's store that
had just laid in a new supply of two pounds of punk alone. Mr. Kimball
says as he'd planned a window display o' cannon crackers pointin' all
ways out of a fort built o' his new dried apples an' now here's Elijah
comin' out in Saturday's paper for an old-fashioned Fourth o' July
without no firecrackers a _tall_. Mr. Kimball says he thinks Elijah
ought to remember whose nephew he is an' show some family feelin'; he
says punk is a thing as can never be worked off in no bargain lot of
odds an' ends, an' he says his own Fourth o' July is spoiled now anyway
just by the shock of the worry 'cause he can't be sure how folks is
goin' to be affected until the effect is over, an' the Fourth o' July'll
be over mighty quick this year. 'T ain't like they had most a week to
calm down from Elijah's new idea--they ain't got but just Monday to
decide an' buy their fireworks, too.

"Judge Fitch says he can't quite make out what Elijah meant by callin'
for patriotic speeches; he says he's willin' to make a speech any day,
but he says no one ever wants to stop poppin' long enough to listen to a
speech on the Fourth o' July. He says too as it's very hard to get a
still crowd that day 'cause people are afraid to get absorbed listenin'
for fear suthin' may go off under 'em while they ain't keepin' watch.
Mr. Dill said that was true, 'cause he had a personal experience that
way in his own dog; he says that dog would of made a fine hunter only
some one throwed a torpedo at him one Fourth o' July, when he was
lookin' under a sidewalk, an' after that that dog almost had a fit if a
sparrow chirped quick behind him. Mr. Dill said he tried to cure him by
stuffin' cotton in his ears an' keepin' a cloth tied neatly around his
head, but then he read in the paper about some deaf German as when he
played the piano always listened with his teeth, an' he said that just
made him empty the cotton right out of the dog an' give up.

"Mrs. Macy says what she wants to know is wh