house, you can leave,
_and leave now!"_

With the thermometer at zero and Peoria seventeen miles away,
and the Illinois out of its banks, there was little that was
comforting in her words. The stillness of the grave was upon that
little assembly. At length, to relieve the strain of the situation,
if possible, the writer inquired, "What was your remark, Doctor
John?" to which the Doctor, in a tome somewhat hopeful but by no
means confident, replied, "I was just remarking to our beloved
landlady, brother Stevenson, that at a regular meeting of the
boarders held this evening I was appointed a committee to invite
her to have corn bread for supper to-morrow night." To which I
modestly replied, "Well, if any such meeting as that was ever held,
_it is very strange that I heard nothing about it."_ This kindly
observation only deepened the gloom, and perceptibly lessened the
distance between the irate hostess and the chief boarder. The
latter in sheer desperation at length appealed for succor to Ewing,
who until this moment, strangely enough, had been an attentive
listener. Thus appealed to, the latter, with Prince Albert buttoned
to the very top, and with the statesman's true pose, said:

"I beg to assure you, Mrs. Sparks, that I am profoundly ignorant
of any such meeting of the boarders as has been indicated. Had
I been apprised that such meeting was contemplated I would have
attended and used by utmost endeavor to secure the defeat of its
ill-timed resolution. Let me say further, madam, that I am not
fond of corn bread. The biscuits with which we are nourished from
day to day are exactly to my taste, and even if they were a few
degrees colder I would cherish them still the more fondly. In the
years gone by, madam, I have been a guest at the Astor, the Galt, the
St. Charles, and at the best hotels in London and upon the continent
of Europe. None of them in my humble judgment are comparable to
this. I assure you solemnly, madam, that I have lingered in
this village month after month only because of my reluctance to
tear myself away from your most excellent hotel."

With finger raised, step advanced, and eye fixed uncharitably upon
the offending physician, the gentle hostess in voice little above a
whisper, said, _"Doc, I think you made that up out of whole cloth."_
The crisis was reached; flesh and blood could endure no more. The
Doctor rose, and waiving all formalities and farewells, "stood not
upon the orde