efreshing himself
with copious draughts of brandy.

"Who are you, and what the devil are you doing here?" asked the still
indignant officer.

Albert did not hesitate longer than it takes to swallow.

"Lorst me way, I 'ave, Sir. I'm with X 33, attached to Mechanical
Transport, an' if I ain't back pretty quick my mate 'ull fair 'ave a
bloomin' fit."

* * * * *

As was predicted by the sagacious man of oil, the mud upon the ---- road is
slowly climbing towards the axles, but in spite of this and sundry other
drawbacks it would be hard to find a more contented spirit than that of
Private Albert Snape, A.S.C. (M.T.).

* * * * *

LIONS AT PLAY.

BY A SUBALTERN.

The Colonel rustles his newspaper, smites it into shape with a mighty fist,
rips it across in a futile endeavour to fold it accurately, and, casting it
furiously aside in a crumpled mass, says, after the manner of all true War
Lords, "Umph." Whereupon the Ante-Room as one man takes cover.

The Colonel then turns cumbrously in his chair, permitting his eye to rove
round the room in search of the unwary prey. He smiles cynically at the
intense concentration of the Auction parties; winces at the renewed and
unnatural efforts of those who make music; glares unamiably at the feverish
book-worms, and suddenly breaks into little chuckles of satisfaction. The
Ante-Room peers cautiously round to discover the identity of the
unfortunate victim, and chuckles in its turn. The Adjutant, checked in his
stealthy retreat, hastens back, arranges the table and chess-board, pokes
the fire with unnecessary energy, and sits down. At once the Ante-Room
abandons its cover.

The Colonel begins by grasping the box, turning it upside down, and
spilling the contents over the sides of the table. The Adjutant immediately
apologises for his clumsiness. The Colonel then liberally spreads out the
pieces, selects two pawns, and offers the Adjutant the choice of two fists.
The Adjutant chooses. Each fist opens to disclose a white pawn. The
Colonel's expansive smile over his little joke quickly turns to a frown at
the Adjutant's exaggerated laughter. He suspects the Adjutant. He seizes
two more pieces, offers his opponent another choice, but, to the latter's
huge delight and his own discomfiture, eventually discovers that both are
black. He accordingly makes use of his casting vote and selects white.

The Colonel plays a smash