e church basement, which was the usual scene of the
festivity, the minister had offered the use of his house. The long table
ran through the doorway between parlour and study, and another was set
in the passage outside, with one end under the stairs. The stair-rail
was wreathed in fire-weed and early golden-rod, and Temperance texts in
smilax decked the walls. When the first course had been despatched the
young ladies, gallantly seconded by the younger of the "Sons," helped to
ladle out and carry in the ice-cream, which stood in great pails on the
larder floor, and to replenish the jugs of lemonade and coffee. Elmer
Moffatt was indefatigable in performing these services, and when the
minister's wife pressed him to sit down and take a mouthful himself he
modestly declined the place reserved for him among the dignitaries of
the evening, and withdrew with a few chosen spirits to the dim table-end
beneath the stairs. Explosions of hilarity came from this corner with
increasing frequency, and now and then tumultuous rappings and howls of
"Song! Song!" followed by adjurations to "Cough it up" and "Let her go,"
drowned the conversational efforts at the other table.

At length the noise subsided, and the group was ceasing to attract
attention when, toward the end of the evening, the upper table, drooping
under the lengthy elucubrations of the minister and the President of the
Temperance Society, called on the orator of the day for a few remarks.
There was an interval of scuffling and laughter beneath the stairs, and
then the minister's lifted hand enjoined silence and Elmer Moffatt got
to his feet.

"Step out where the ladies can hear you better, Mr. Moffatt!" the
minister called. Moffatt did so, steadying himself against the table and
twisting his head about as if his collar had grown too tight. But if his
bearing was vacillating his smile was unabashed, and there was no lack
of confidence in the glance he threw at Undine Spragg as he began:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, if there's one thing I like better than another
about getting drunk--and I like most everything about it except the next
morning--it's the opportunity you've given me of doing it right here, in
the presence of this Society, which, as I gather from its literature,
knows more about the subject than anybody else. Ladies and
Gentlemen"--he straightened himself, and the table-cloth slid toward
him--"ever since you honoured me with an invitation to address you from
the te