t I have for months past sat meeting
after meeting a victim to the baneful consequences of wandering thoughts,
scarcely being able to recollect myself so much as to ask excuse of Him
who sees in secret. In these times of deepest desertion I am selfish
enough to feel a longing desire for a ray of light or a smile from the
countenance of Him, under whose banner I have many times sat with the
greatest delight in days that are past.

O, how hard it is to regain divine favor when once sacrificed through the
sorrowful act of disobedience! O may I sit as in dust and ashes, and, with
the noble resignation and spirit of a true, dedicated follower, say, I
will patiently hear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned
against him!

Nevertheless, even in his times of deepest humiliation, moments of
heavenly comfort were interspersed.

11 _mo_. 23.--A more improved meeting than I had reason to hope from
cross occurrences, which are too apt to ruffle the unstable mind. Daring
our silent sitting together, I was comforted in contemplating the many
encouraging passages we have left on sacred record; two of which, spoken
by one of large experience, were particularly solacing to my exercised
feelings: "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord
delivereth him out of them all;" and "The young lions do lack and suffer
hunger, but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing." O,
thought I, if we could only procure Him on our side who has the thoughts
of all men in his keeping, what should we have to fear! We should then be
brought to acknowledge that it behooves a Christian traveller to crave the
assistance of Him who can enable us to suffer with becoming fortitude and
resignation all the afflicting dispensations of life, rather than desire
to be preserved from meeting them.

The hard mutter which is the subject of the next extract embodies a
difficulty that has perplexed many. It is always encouraging to find
companionship in doubts and trials, and perhaps the consideration which
pacified the mind of John Yeardley may be helpful to some who are tried in
the same way. The passage, no doubt, has reference to his own want of
better success in business.

11 _mo._ 30.--When any circumstance in the common course of life,
which has appeared to turn up in the direction of Divine Providence, has
not answered my expectation, or on deliberate consideration it has not
seemed prudent for me to step into it, I