countenance of inexpressible horror.
When this idea was upon me, I would often rush to some secret place to
hide myself; to some thicket, where I would cast myself on the ground,
and thrust my head into a thick bush, in order to escape from the horror-
struck glance of my father above in the clouds; and there I would
continue groaning till the agony had, in some degree, passed away.

'The wretchedness of my state increasing daily, it at last became
apparent to the master of the school, who questioned me earnestly and
affectionately. I, however, gave him no satisfactory answer, being
apprehensive that, if I unbosomed myself, I should become as much an
object of horror to him as I had long been to myself. At length he
suspected that I was unsettled in my intellects; and, fearing probably
the ill effect of my presence upon his scholars, he advised me to go
home; which I was glad to do, as I felt myself every day becoming less
qualified for the duties of the office which I had undertaken.

'So I returned home to my mother and my brother, who received me with the
greatest kindness and affection. I now determined to devote myself to
husbandry, and assist my brother in the business of the farm. I was
still, however, very much distressed. One fine morning, however, as I
was at work in the field, and the birds were carolling around me, a ray
of hope began to break upon my poor dark soul. I looked at the earth and
looked at the sky, and felt as I had not done for many a year; presently
a delicious feeling stole over me. I was beginning to enjoy existence. I
shall never forget that hour. I flung myself on the soil, and kissed it;
then, springing up with a sudden impulse, I rushed into the depths of a
neighbouring wood, and, falling upon my knees, did what I had not done
for a long, long time--prayed to God.

'A change, an entire change, seemed to have come over me. I was no
longer gloomy and despairing, but gay and happy. My slumbers were light
and easy; not disturbed, as before, by frightful dreams. I arose with
the lark, and like him uttered a cheerful song of praise to God,
frequently and earnestly, and was particularly cautious not to do
anything which I considered might cause His displeasure.

'At church I was constant, and when there listened with deepest attention
to every word which proceeded from the mouth of the minister. In a
little time it appeared to me that I had become a good, very good, young
man.