g passages from these
confessions.[59] (1) "As a schoolboy of eight years, I sat near a
comrade rather older than myself; and how happy was I, when he touched
me. That was the first indefinite perception of an inclination which
remained a secret for me till my nineteenth year." (2) "Going back to my
seventh year, I had a lively feeling for a schoolfellow, two years older
than myself; I was happy when I could be as close as possible to him,
and in our games could place my head near to his private parts." (3) "At
ten years of age he had a romantic attachment for a comrade; and the
passion for people of his own sex became always more and more marked."
(4) Another confessed that "already at the age of four he used to dream
of handsome grooms." (5) A fifth said: "My passion for people of my own
sex awoke at the age of eight. I used to enjoy my brother's nakedness;
while bathing with other children, I took no interest at all in girls,
but felt the liveliest attraction toward boys." (6) A sixth dates his
experience from his sixth or seventh year. (7) A seventh remembers that
"while yet a boy, before the age of puberty, sleeping in the company of
a male agitated him to such an extent that he lay for hours awake." (8)
An eighth relates that "while three years old, I got possession of a
fashion book, cut out the pictures of men, and kissed them to tatters.
The pictures of women I did not care to look at." (9) A ninth goes back
to his thirteenth year, and a school friendship. (10) A tenth records
the same about his seventh year. (11) An eleventh says that his inverted
instincts awoke in early childhood, and that from his ninth year onward
he fell over and over again in love with adult men. (12) A twelfth spoke
as follows: "So far back as I can remember, I was always subject to
this passion. Quite as a child, young men made deeper impression on me
than women or girls. The earliest sensual perturbation of which I have
any recollection was excited by a tutor, when I was nine or ten, and my
greatest pleasure was to be allowed to ride astride upon his leg." (13)
A thirteenth: "From the earliest childhood I have been haunted by
visions of men, and only of men; never has a woman exercised the least
influence over me. At school I kept these instincts to myself, and lived
quite retired." (14) A fourteenth can recollect "receiving a distinctly
sensual impression at the age of four, when the man-servants caressed
him." (15) A fifteenth says th