have it done, saying, "it will save you
trouble and money if you do, and add to your pleasure." I declined.
"Another day then." "No." He laughed and said, "Well, time will cure
you, if you go on as you have began," gave me a lotion, and in three
days I was pretty right: warm water I expect would have had the same
effect. I had simply torn the skin in taking the virginity.

Of course I wanted Charlotte again, she seemed in no way to help me, and
used to cry, still there was a wonderful difference between then, and
before the happy consummation: she tried to prevent my hands going up her
petticoats, but once up objections ceased, and my hands would rove
about on the outside and inside of all, we stood and kissed at every
opportunity. "When shall we do it again?" she replied "Never!" for she
was sure it would bring punishment on us both.

I neglected my studies absolutely; all I thought about was her, and how
to get at her, it must have been a week or more before I did. Ready for
any risk, that day my mother was out, I came home, had the early dinner;
the cook after that always went up to dress, or as she said, clean
herself, and there she always was an hour. Waiting till I heard her go
up, I went into the garden parlour, where as usual Charlotte was with
my little brother. Going at her directly, I was refused, but now how
different, once she would not rest until my hand was altogether away
from her. Now I begged and besought her, with my hand up her clothes,
my fingers on her quim. No--if we had not been found out before, we were
fortunate, but never, never, would she do it again; was I mad? did I
wish to ruin her? was not the cook upstairs? might she not come down,
whilst we did it? how light the room was (the sun was coming in).
I dropped the blinde, her resistance grew less, as her cunt felt my
twiddling. "No--now no--oh what a plague you are; hush! it is the cook."
I open the door, listen, there is no one stirring. "What will she think
if she finds you here?" "What does it matter; now do--let me,--I'll bolt
the door, if she comes I will get under the sofa, you say you don't know
how it got bolted." Such was my innocent device, but it sufficed,
for both were hot in lust. I bolted it. My prick is out, I pull her
reluctant hand on to it, my hands are groping now, but too impatient for
dallying, I push her down on the sofa--that dear cunt. "Don't hurt me so
much again, oh don't push so hard." Oh! what delight! in a minut