ld not
have Sarah again, told her so. She said she was tired of watching for
us. The sisters were often quarrelling, and I believe out of jealousy
about me, yet I fucked her again.

I may mention about the risks I ran, that I was once with Martha on the
bed, when I heard my cousin's voice asking Sarah who was at the door, if
she had seen me pass.

I could not get the younger readily enough, had been long from home, and
was about returning. I had spent all my money, and told Sarah one day
after I had poked her, that I was going away. Her sister was then at the
mill. Said she, "What will Martha do?" I supposed she would get another
sweetheart. She shook her head, "Martha be poisoned." "What?" "Don't
be afraid," said she, "she be in the family way, we call it poisoned in
these parts, when a girl be'nt married." It was true. The girl had only
menstruated once or twice before I first had her, and now her courses
had stopped. There was no attempt at making a market of me, all needed
was to get her right again. The elder took Martha to a fortune-teller,
and she got better of her difficulty. I borrowed money of my aunt
and giving Martha all I could, went back to London. She left the
neighbourhood.

I saw Martha two years afterwards, when visiting again my aunt; she was
in house-hold service, and was out for the day. I waylaid her, hoping
to have her again; we kissed and fondled, and with difficulty I felt her
quim, but could not accomplish my wishes; she was going to be married,
and soon after I heard that she was.

Sarah also was going to be married to a farm labourer, and when I joked
her about his finding her out, she laughed and said, "Lord, he war my
first sweetheart," from which I inferred that cousin Fred was mistaken
about taking her virginity.

My first cunt-licking, and cock-sucking took place with Martha; I had
never before played such amatory pranks, and all came about by instinct.
For a long time I was ashamed of myself, and never breathed a word on
such subjects to anyone; I don't think I should have done so even to
Fred, but he was then away. Gradually I was learning by instinct the
whole art of love. What made me offer money to get Martha I can't say,
I don't think that I had ever heard of tempting women's virtue by money,
but I never forgot the lesson, and much improved on it as time went on.

I now had had four women. The difficulties in the way of getting at
them, were very useful in preventing excesse