curiosity, the manifest novelty of fucking to her, even for
a couple of months after her splitting and bleeding; was so different
from the steady, quiet, well satisfied way with which Mary copulated.
Pondering over this, I wondered if she had been done before, how often,
and by how many, or had I been the first? The idea of asking her was
always floating through my brain. That day I said to her as her face was
towards mine on the pillow, and I was toying with her bubbies, "I wonder
who had you before me." She sat up, looked me steadily in the face, and
replied, "You have no right to ask me, you are not my husband." "But
tell me." "I shall not, it is an impertinence; how can a youth like you
know anything about first or second." I blurted out, "Because when first
I did it to Char--" the name was almost out of my mouth, but I stopped
in time, "when I first had a young woman (correcting myself), I could
not easily get into her, it tore my prick, and she bled." "Who was it?"
said she. "Oh! a young woman." "But who was it?" I did not reply. "Was
it Charlotte?" and she looked me hard and full in the face. "No," said
I. "Now was it? Tell me," said she bending over, kissing and coaxing me.
"No, it was not." "I believe it was, you once said she was young, and
had dark brown hair--it was she." In vain I denied it. "I felt sure it
was, and with a youth like you! Is it possible you can have harmed that
nice girl! What a wretched, wicked lot you all are, you will be as bad
as the others." Then she suddenly said, "Mind, you have sworn solemnly
never to mention to any living soul about me; oh! once forget yourself,
and it's all up with a woman." Then she laid down, again her manner
became quiet and voluptuous--another fuck followed. I again tried the
question. She settled me by saying, "If ever you ask me that question
again, I will not let you have me afterwards," and I never did ask her
that I can recollect until just before she felt us.

But she for some time after asked ME questions about my first woman,
"was she tall? were her teeth as good as hers?" and so on. How far she
satisfied herself that it was Charlotte, she never said; for I
don't recollect that she mentioned her name again, and I gave wrong
descriptions; but may have got more information than I meant her to
have, as she asked me at odd times when I was off my guard.

A third time, to the still greater surprise of my mother, she took a
holiday. We spent it at the house,