ry Grand Chancellor of Barodia never forgot that morning,
nor did he allow his wife to forget it. His opening, "That reminds
me, dear, of the day when----" though the signal of departure for any
guests, allowed no escape for his family. They had to have it.

And indeed it was a busy day for him. Summoned to the Palace at nine
o'clock, he found the King nursing a bent whisker and in the very
vilest of tempers. His Majesty was for war at once, the Chancellor
leant towards the Stiff Note.

"At least, your Majesty," he begged, "let me consult the precedents
first."

"There is no precedent," said the King coldly, "for such an outrage as
this."

"Not precisely, Sire; but similar unfortunate occurrences
have--occurred."

"It was worse than an occurrence."

"I should have said an outrage, your Majesty. Your late lamented
grandfather was unfortunate enough to come beneath the spell of the
King of Araby, under which he was compelled--or perhaps I should say
preferred--to go about on his hands and knees for several weeks. Your
Majesty may recall how the people in their great loyalty adopted a
similar mode of progression. Now although your Majesty's case is not
precisely on all fours----"

"Not at all on all fours," said the King coldly.

"An unfortunate metaphor; I should say that although your Majesty's
case is not parallel, the procedure adopted in your revered
grandfather's case----"

"I don't care what _you_ do with your whiskers; I don't care what
_anybody_ does with his whiskers," said the King, still soothing his
own tenderly; "I want the King of Euralia's blood." He looked round
the Court. "To any one who will bring me the head of the King, I will
give the hand of my daughter in marriage."

There was a profound silence. . . .

"Which daughter?" said a cautious voice at last.

"The eldest," said the King.

There was another profound silence. . . .

[Illustration: _He found the King nursing a bent whisker and in the
very vilest of tempers_]

"My suggestion, your Majesty," said the Chancellor, "is that for the
present there should be merely an exchange of Stiff Notes; and that
meanwhile we scour the kingdom for an enchanter who shall take some
pleasant revenge for us upon his Majesty of Euralia. For instance,
Sire, a king whose head has been permanently fixed on upside-down
lacks somewhat of that regal dignity which alone can command the
respect of his subjects. A couple of noses, again, placed