er
baby will be born a Victor Herbert.

Sec.11

That all excursion boats are so old that if they ran into a drifting
beer-keg they would sink.

Sec.12

That a doctor knows so much about women that he can no longer fall in
love with one of them.

Sec.13

That when one takes one's best girl to see the monkeys in the zoo, the
monkeys invariably do something that is very embarrassing.

Sec.14

That firemen, awakened suddenly in the middle of the night, go to fires
in their stocking feet.

Sec.15

That something mysterious goes on in the rooms back of chop suey
restaurants.

Sec.16

That oil of pennyroyal will drive away mosquitoes.

Sec.17

That the old ladies on summer hotel verandas devote themselves entirely
to the discussion of scandals.

Sec.18

That a bachelor, expecting a feminine visitor, by way of subtle
preliminary strategy smells up his rooms with Japanese punk.

Sec.19

That all one has to do to gather a large crowd in New York is to stand
on the curb a few moments and gaze intently at the sky.

Sec.20

That one can get an excellent bottle of wine in France for a franc.

21

That it is dangerous to drink out of a garden hose, since if one does
one is likely to swallow a snake.

Sec.22

That all male negroes can sing.

Sec.23

That when a girl enters a hospital as a nurse, her primary object is
always to catch one of the doctors.

Sec.24

That the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.

Sec.25

That a young girl ought to devote herself sedulously to her piano
lessons since, when she is married, her playing will be a great comfort
to her husband.

Sec.26

That all theater box-office employes are very impolite and hate to sell
a prospective patron a ticket.

Sec.27

That all great men have illegible signatures.

Sec.28

That all iron-moulders and steam-fitters, back in the days of freedom,
used to get drunk every Saturday night.

Sec.29

That if a man takes a cold bath regularly every morning of his life he
will never be ill.

Sec.30

That ginger snaps are made of the sweepings of the floor in the bakery.

Sec.31

That every circus clown's heart is breaking for one reason or another.

Sec.32

That a bull-fighter always has so many women in love with him that he
doesn't know what to do.

Sec.33

That George M. Cohan spends all his time hanging around Broadway cafes
and street-corners mak