the Masons cannot be hanged.

Sec.80

That a policeman can eat _gratis_ as much fruit and as many peanuts off
the street-corner stands as he wants.

Sec.81

That the real President of the United States is J. P. Morgan.

Sec.82

That onion breath may be promptly removed by drinking a little milk.

Sec.83

That onion breath may be promptly removed by eating a little parsley.

Sec.84

That Catholic priests conduct their private conversations in Latin.

Sec.85

That John Drew is a great society man.

Sec.86

That all Swedes are stupid fellows, and have very thick skulls.

Sec.87

That all the posthumously printed stories of David Graham Phillips and
Jack London have been written by hacks hired by the magazine editors and
publishers.

Sec.88

That a man like Charles Schwab, who has made a great success of the
steel business, could in the same way easily have become a great
composer like Bach or Mozart had he been minded thus to devote his
talents.

Sec.89

That the man who doesn't hop promptly to his feet when the orchestra
plays "The Star Spangled Banner" as an overture to Hurtig and Seamon's
"Hurly-Burly Girlies" must have either rheumatism or pro-German
sympathies.

Sec.90

That every workman in Henry Ford's factory owns a pretty house in the
suburbs and has a rose-garden in the back-yard.

Sec.91

That all circus people are very pure and lead domestic lives.

Sec.92

That if a spark hits a celluloid collar, the collar will explode.

Sec.93

That when a bachelor who has hated children for twenty years gets
married and discovers he is about to become a father, he is delighted.

Sec.94

That drinking three drinks of whiskey a day will prevent pneumonia.

Sec.95

That every negro who went to France with the army had a liaison with a
white woman and won't look at a nigger wench any more.

Sec.96

That all Russians have unpronounceable names.

Sec.97

That awnings keep rooms cool.

Sec.98

That it is very difficult to decipher a railroad time-table.

Sec.99

That gamblers may always be identified by their habit of wearing large
diamonds.

Sec.100

That when a man embarks in a canoe with a girl, the chances are two to
one that the girl will move around when the boat is in mid-stream and
upset it.

Sec.101

That German babies are brought up on beer in place of milk.

Sec.102

That a man with two shots of cocaine i