Looking back two years afterwards on the above-mentioned and other
acts, on the part of Anglican Ecclesiastical authorities, I observe:
"Many a man might have held an abstract theory about the Catholic
Church, to which it was difficult to adjust the Anglican--might have
admitted a suspicion, or even painful doubts about the latter--yet
never have been impelled onwards, had our Rulers preserved the
quiescence of former years; but it is the corroboration of a present,
living, and energetic heterodoxy, which realises and makes them
practical; it has been the recent speeches and acts of authorities,
who had so long been tolerant of Protestant error, which have given
to inquiry and to theory its force and its edge."

As to the project of a Jerusalem Bishopric, I never heard of any good
or harm it has ever done, except what it has done for me; which many
think a great misfortune, and I one of the greatest of mercies. It
brought me on to the beginning of the end.

Part VI

History of My Religious Opinions--1841-1845

From the end of 1841, I was on my death-bed, as regards my membership
with the Anglican Church, though at the time I became aware of it
only by degrees. I introduce what I have to say with this remark, by
way of accounting for the character of this remaining portion of my
narrative. A death-bed has scarcely a history; it is a tedious
decline, with seasons of rallying and seasons of falling back; and
since the end is foreseen, or what is called a matter of time, it has
little interest for the reader, especially if he has a kind heart.
Moreover, it is a season when doors are closed and curtains drawn,
and when the sick man neither cares nor is able to record the stages
of his malady. I was in these circumstances, except so far as I was
not allowed to die in peace,--except so far as friends, who had still
a full right to come in upon me, and the public world which had not,
have given a sort of history to those last four years. But in
consequence, my narrative must be in great measure documentary.
Letters of mine to friends have come to me since their deaths; others
have been kindly lent me for the occasion; and I have some drafts of
letters, and notes of my own, though I have no strictly personal or
continuous memoranda to consult, and have unluckily mislaid some
valuable papers.

And first as to my position in the view of duty; it was this:--1. I
had given up my place in the Movement in my letter