sent for a policeman. 'Be so good,' I said,'
as to turn this drunken person out of my house.' 'I daren't do it,
sir,' was the reply; 'that would be to exceed my duty.' 'Then, why are
you here?' 'I am here, sir, to see that you turn the man out yourself
without using unnecessary violence.' 'The man' was six feet high and as
stout as a beer-barrel. I could no more have moved him than Skiddaw,
and he knew it. 'I stays here,' he chanted in his maudlin way, 'till I
gets my board wages.' Fortunately, two Oxford undergraduates happened
to be in the house, to whom I mentioned my difficulty, and I shall not
easily forget the delighted promptitude with which they seized upon the
offender and 'ran him out' into the street. He fled down the area steps
at once with a celerity that convinced me he was accustomed to being
turned out of houses, and tried to obtain re-admission at the
back-door. It was fortunately locked, but when I said to the policeman,
'_Now_, please to remove that man,' he answered, 'No, sir; that would
be to exceed my duty; he is still upon your premises and a member of
your household.' As it was raining heavily, the delinquent, though
sympathised with by a great crowd round the area railings, presently
got tired of his position and went away. But supposing my young Oxford
friends had not been in the house and he had fallen upon me (a little
man) in the act of expulsion; or supposing I had been a widow lady with
no protector, would that too faithful retainer have remained in my
establishment for ever?

I have purposely addressed myself to that large class of the community
only who are said 'to keep a man-servant'--that is, one man, assisted,
perhaps, by a page. Those who keep butler, footman, coachman, grooms,
and valets are comparatively few in number, and know nothing of the
inconveniences which their less wealthy fellow-countrymen endure. In
large establishments, if William is drunk, John is sober, and the work
is done for the rich man by somebody; especially, too, if William is
drunk, there are John and Thomas to turn him out of the house and have
done with him. But it is certain that the lower Ten Thousand are not in
a satisfactory condition as respects their men-servants; hardly more
so, in fact, than the Hundred Thousand are in regard to their maids.
The men-servants, however, are not so ignorant of their duties as are
the latter, and if only their masters would have the courage to tell
the truth when givin