-snatcher? I don't even
care which of the two was my own personal friend's grandfather, and how
much less can I take an interest in this imaginary progenitor of the
creation of an author's brain? The introduction of such a colourless
shadow is, to my mind, the height of impertinence. If I were Mr. Mudie,
I would put my foot down resolutely and stamp out this literary plague.
As George III., who had an objection to commerce, is said to have
observed, when asked to confer a baronetcy on one of the Broadwood
family, 'Are you sure there is not a piano in it?' so should Mr. M.
inquire of the publisher before taking copies of any novel, 'Are you
sure there is not a grandfather in it?'

Again, what a nuisance is ancestry in our social life! It cannot,
unhappily, be done away with as a fact, but surely it need not be a
topic. How often have I been asked by some fair neighbour at a
dinner-table, 'Is that Mr. Jones opposite one of the Joneses of
Bedfordshire?' One's first impulse is naturally to ask, 'What on earth
is that to you or me?' But experience teaches prudence, and I reply
with reverence, 'Yes, of Bedfordshire,' which, at all events, puts a
stop to argument upon the matter. Moreover, she seems to derive some
sort of mysterious satisfaction from the information, and it is always
well to give pleasure.

A well-known wit was once in company with one of the Cavendishes, who
had lately been to America, and was recounting his experiences. 'These
Republican people have such funny names,' he said. 'I met there a man
of the name of Birdseye.' 'Well, and is not that just as good as
Cavendish?' replied the wit, who was also a smoker. But the remark was
not appreciated.

Ancestral people do not, as a rule, appreciate wit; but, on the other
hand, it must be admitted that this is not a defect peculiar to them
alone. I once knew a man of letters who, though he had risen to wealth
and eminence, was of humble descent, and had a weakness for avoiding
allusion to it. His daughter married a man of good birth, but whose
literary talents were not of a high order. This gentleman wrote a
letter applying for a certain Government appointment, and expressed a
wish for his father-in-law's opinion upon the composition. 'It's a very
bad letter,' was the frank criticism the other made upon it. 'The
writing is bad, the spelling is indifferent, the style is abominable.
Good heavens! where are your relatives and antecedents?' 'If it comes
to that,' w