uperscribed "To Dr. Bentley in England." Times are altered; postmen are
now satisfied with a hint. One modern retrenchment is a blessing; one is
not obliged to study for an ingenious conclusion, as if writing an
epigram--oh! no; nor to send compliments that never were delivered. I
had a relation who always finished his letters with "his love to all
that was near and dear to us," though he did not care a straw for me or
any of his family. It was said of old Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough,
that she never put dots over her _i's_, to save ink: how she would have
enjoyed modern economy in that article! She would have died worth a
thousand farthings more than she did--nay, she would have known exactly
how many; as Sir Robert Brown[3] did, who calculated what he had saved
by never having an orange or lemon on his sideboard. I am surprised
that no economist has retrenched second courses, which always consist of
the dearest articles, though seldom touched, as the hungry at least dine
on the first. Mrs. Leneve,[4] one summer at Houghton, counted thirty-six
turkey-pouts[5] that had been served up without being meddled with.

[Footnote 1: Second son of Francis Seymour Conway, first Earl of
Hertford.--WALPOLE.]

[Footnote 2: This address was surpassed towards the end of the reign, by
a letter which arrived in London addressed to "Srumfredafi, England;"
and was correctly interpreted at the Post Office as being designed for
Sir Humphrey Davy.]

[Footnote 3: A noted miser, who raised a great fortune as a merchant at
Venice, though his whole wealth, when he went thither, consisted in one
of those vast wigs (a second-hand one, given to him) which were worn in
the reign of Queen Anne, and which he sold for five guineas. He returned
to England, very rich, in the reign of George II., with his wife and
three daughters, who would have been great fortunes. The eldest, about
eighteen, fell into a consumption, and, being ordered to ride, her
father drew a map of the by-lanes about London, which he made the
footman carry in his pocket and observe, that she might ride without
paying a turnpike. When the poor girl was past recovery, Sir Robert sent
for an undertaker, to cheapen her funeral, as she was not dead, and
there was a possibility of her living. He went farther; he called his
other daughters, and bade them curtsy to the undertaker, and promise to
be his friends; and so they proved, for both died consumptive in two
years.--WALPOLE.]

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