* *

[Illustration: THE IRREPRESSIBLE.]

* * * * *

THE COUNTER-REVOLUTIONARY COLLAR.

Mr. Bingley-Spyker pleaded surprise. He pointed out that he had
been in bed for a fortnight, "laid aside," as he said, "through the
prevailing epidemic." In the meantime the revolution had taken place,
and he had heard nothing about it.

"Well," said the President gruffly, "we carn't 'elp that, can we,
comrades? While this 'ere citizen 'as been restin' in the lap o'
luxury, so to speak, we workers 'ave been revolutin'. An' that's all
there is to it."

"But fair play," persisted Mr. Bingley-Spyker gently, "is a jewel. At
least so I have always understood."

"Not so much of it, me lad," interrupted the President sharply. "Now
then, comrade, wot's the charge?"

An unkempt person stepped up to the front and, clearing his throat
with some emphasis, began:--

"About ten-thirty this morning I see this gentleman--"

"_What? _" The interruption came simultaneously from several members
of the tribunal.

"--this party walkin' down Whitehall casual-like, as if the place
belonged to 'im instead of to us. 'What ho!' I says to myself, 'this
'ere chap looks like a counter-revolution'ry;' and with that I comes
closer to 'im. Sure enough he was wearin' a 'igh collar, about three
inches 'igh, I should say, all white an' shiny, straight from the
lorndry. I could 'ardly believe my eyes."

"Never mind your eyes, comrade," the President said; "tell us what you
did."

"I accosted 'im and said, 'Ere, citizen, wot do you mean by wearin' a
collar like that?'"

"An' what was the reply?"

"He looked at me 'aughty-like, an' says, 'Get away, my man, or I shall
call the police.' An' thereupon I said, 'P'r'aps you don't know it,
citizen, but I _am_ the p'lice, an', wot's more, I arrest you for
wearin' a white collar, contrairy to the regulations in that case made
an' perwided.'"

"Very good, comrade," murmured the President, "very good indeed. Did
he seem surprised?"

"Knocked all of a 'eap. So I took him into custody and brought him
along."

"You did well, comrade. The Tribunal thanks you. Step down now, me
lad, and don't make too much noise. Now then, prisoner, you've 'eard
the charge; what have you got to say about it?"

"Only this," said Mr. Bingley-Spyker firmly, "that I am not guilty."

"Not guilty?" shouted the President. "Why, you've got the blooming
thing on now!"

"Yes," said the prisoner m