mposed on the back of the Bosch piglet we had
photographed outside Ypres. Isn't that just the hardest of luck?

I'm going to ask if I can develop the film without running the risk of
losing my commission. After all it's not so very inappropriate, is it?

L.

* * * * *

"Extensive floods are reported in the Home Counties. Mr. Noah ----
had a narrow escape from drowning at ---- on Saturday."--_Scotch
Paper_.

And yet people say, "What's in a name?"

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE WAR NURSERY.

_Nurse_. "WHICH BABY HAVE YOU COME FOR?"

_Little Girl_. "THANK YOU, NURSE--I'M BEING SERVED."]

* * * * *

TO A V.A.D. HALL-PORTERESS.

(_WITH APOLOGIES TO R.K._)

If you can keep your courage and your curls up
When life a whirling chaos seems to be
Of amorous swains who want to ring their girls up
And get them through at once (as you for me);
If you can calm the weary and the waxy,
When no appeals, however nicely put,
Can lure from rank or pub. the ticking taxi,
And they, poor devils, have to go on foot;

If you can stem the rush of second-cousins,
Who crowd to get a glimpse of darling Fred,
When Father, Mother, Aunts and friends in dozens
Already form a circle round his bed;
If, in a word, you run a show amazing,
With precious little help to see you through it,
Yours is a temper far above all praising,
And--here we reach the point--I've seen you do it.

* * * * *

"Annie ---- was fined L2 for failing to have the name attached
to apples at a stall in ---- Market. Mr. ---- said the public
were being wilfully kept in ignorance as to what they were
buying."--_Provincial Paper_.

We think the Magistrate was rather pernickety. Most people know an
apple when they see one, but the trouble in these days is to see one
at all.

* * * * *

THE RULE OF THE ROAD.

I admire all poilus, and especially did I admire Pierre. Once only did
I find him at fault. It was one of my functions on a hospital ship
plying between ---- and ---- to wheel about the more fortunate of the
patients. On the occasion on which I met Pierre he was journeying to
his mother in London and was temporarily engaged in the same pursuit.
I beheld him approaching with his charge and immediately ported my
helm. He bore do